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Dennis the Menace, 7/1/13

Mr. Wilson’s trademark bead of sweat, indicating a looming Dennis-induced psychotic break, is an often used visual trope in this strip. Today’s is particularly poignant however, as Dennis indulges in some marital menacing by innocently asking why Mrs. Wilson forces her husband to keep his most beloved possessions up in the musty attic rather than allowing him to proudly display it in the main living areas of the home, where guests can see. We almost might think that he’s crying, like a majestic weeping eagle, if we didn’t know that Mr. Wilson is incapable of sadness or remorse, only bottomless crotchety rage.

Gil Thorp, 7/1/13

This Gil Thorp summer storyline is bound to get boring in short order, but let’s enjoy the madness while we can. Today’s panel two, depicting the carnage that remains in the aftermath of codger-on-ruffian fisticuffs, is more or less perfect. I love the fact that the napkins and condiments scattered about by the fight are foregrounded, while the two defeated punks are only semi-visible while draped and/or splayed comically at the top of the panel. Also, maybe they’re terribly injured or dead? Anyway, let’s call Gil in on this situation, why not, surely he’s got something to say about the whole thing.

Judge Parker, 7/1/13

Well, whaddya know! In Judge Parker, a leggy blonde is eagerly offering to fulfill a main character’s every whim! Don’t worry, though, this is Judge Parker, so those whims are super super boring.

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Crankshaft, 6/27/13

When? America demands to know. When will we get Crankshaft making dickish puns about New York City, like we were promised? Well, it seems that after a week of Crankshaft being an asshole at the airport, we now have to deal with a week of Crankshaft being an asshole on a plane. Today’s strip actually nicely encapsulates what I frequently find off about the tone of this strip: this is a fairly zany gag, and an impossible one at that — you can’t actually open one of those doors in mid-flight by accident. It should be played pretty broadly. And yet everything about the art is actually pretty serious. Like, instead of just looking bored or wry or something, the flight attendant is actually running towards the back of the plane in panic. And Crankshaft’s face! That’s the face of a man who knows with absolute certainty that he’s about to die horribly, due to his own poor decisions. It’s the face I’ve wanted to see on Crankshaft for years, so I guess I’m not sure why I’m complaining so much about this.

Judge Parker, 6/27/13

Speaking of things that have been dragging on for two weeks against all expectations, Judge Parker Senior is still really mad about a bad review of his trashy mystery novel! The war criminal who dared disparage it is a professor at Princeton and Yale, which (a) isn’t a thing that happens, generally, but (b) should provide the Parker-Spencer-Drivers, who are fantastically wealthy and always get everything they want without putting forth any effort whatsoever, with a great opportunity to rail against “elitists.”

The Phantom, 6/27/13

UGH, the Phantom thinks World War I was still happening in 1919. Can we trust the veracity of any of the information from the Chronicle Chamber now?

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Mary Worth, 6/21/13

Good news, everybody! Thanks to Mary’s fairly mild scolding and Tom’s ill-advised surprise-proposal, Elinor isn’t opposed to Tom and Beth’s love at all anymore! In fact, she’s in favor of it. Suspiciously strongly in favor of it, actually. Today she lets slip what her real epiphany was: if she lets Tom marry Beth and move into their apartment with him (obviously he’ll be moving into their apartment with them), she’ll have two soft touches to bully and push around, not just one! “I’ll even exceed those standards,” thinks Tom. But you won’t, Tom, you really won’t.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/21/13

Since this is clearly a reference to the bonkers ending of “The Rains of Castamere,” an episode of Game of Thrones that aired a mere 19 days ago, this is probably the most topical and specific Herb and Jamaal ever written. I guess by leaving out the actual name or description of the episode they can reuse it any time the show decides to freak everyone out with insane carnage, which I imagine will be fairly regularly.

Gil Thorp, 6/21/13

Actually, it looks Jimmy is smugly rubbing in the fact that the Foleys are as bad at baseball as they are at suing people. But, you know, Coaches Thorp and Kaz have pretty strict rules about cutting off all contact with their players the moment the season ends, so let’s let them have their little moment of self-delusion.

Judge Parker, 6/21/13

Soooo … I guess we’re done with even the pretense that Judge Parker Senior is a character we’re supposed to like?