Archive: Judge Parker

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Mary Worth, 2/5/26

“Good lord,” you’re no doubt thinking, “how is it that, more than two weeks after Ian ended his war against Sunny the parrot by pathetically surrendering, this plot is still happening?” Well, it’s to set up a long-term plot point: if Ian refused to love the bird Toby acquired a few weeks earlier just because it shat in his shoes, could she ever trust him again? Somehow, after so many years of marriage, Toby has finally noticed that her husband is an asshole, and sure, maybe it’s over something that he’s actually right about, but he’s on thin ice going forward (until Toby remembers she has neither a job nor any marketable skills).

Judge Parker, 2/5/26

Ann’s triumphant return has, predictably, devolved into wall-of-text family dysfunction, but I am kind of curious why Ann’s dialogue in the second panel makes it seem like she’s trying to de-escalate but the jagged-edged word balloon indicates that she’s yelling. Maybe she’s worried a furious Katherine is about to deliver a potful of hot coffee right to her face? Don’t worry, Ann, that would be exciting, so it definitely won’t happen.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/5/26

Say, just out of curiosity, did, uh, Robin Hood famously have any kind of interesting relationship with the tax assessment and collection apparatus? You know, the kind of dynamic that might provide a punchline of some sort in a strip like this? A better punchline than what we got here, maybe?

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Andy Capp, 1/31/26

I’ve been reading Andy Capp daily again for about a year now, and on the one hand that isn’t very long, given that the strip has run since 1957, but on the other hand it probably puts me in the top 0.1% of Andy Capp Lore Knowers worldwide. Like, I’ve more or less figured out that Andy doesn’t like it when Guitar Bob offers up his musical stylings at the pub, which is crucial knowledge for understanding the “joke” here (such as it is). But imagine if you, like the vast majority of the human race, did not know that, and you stumbled upon this strip. “Hmm, the pub’s landlord is informing one of his patrons that there’s been a change in the entertainment bill tonight. The regular doesn’t react at all. This must be one of those Ken Loach slice-of-life social realism things I’ve heard about.”

Gil Thorp, 1/31/26

Hey, remember when Fox Used Auto did a promotion where if Goshen beat Milford, they’d offer 50% off all cars, apparently indefinitely, and then Goshen beat Milford? Really tells you a lot about how much markup car dealers make given that they’re still in business, huh?

Judge Parker, 1/31/26

“Like, maybe he came back but he grew a beard so you didn’t recognize him, and he’s still sad about it!”

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Daddy Daze, 1/30/26

To me, the jury is still out on whether the Daddy Daze baby is actually expressing meaningful language in the form of a series of “ba”s that only the Daddy Daze daddy can understand, or if the Daddy Daze daddy simply maps his current obsessions onto his son’s meaningless babbling. Today’s strip is about one of them morbidly fixating on the idea of staring down an elephant and being trampled to death by it, and frankly I don’t think it really matters which one. These guys are really going through it! Or maybe just one of them is! But either way!

Shoe, 1/30/26

Speaking of guys who are really going through it, I know that Shoe and the Perfesser have worked together so long that they bicker like an old married couple, but “You underestimate me, but my time is coming!” is the sort of thing said between spouses in an old couple whose long marriage is abruptly ended by murder-suicide.

Heathcliff, 1/30/26

Let’s, ahhh, let’s get a little more upbeat, shall we? Look at these fellas, just sitting at the kitchen table with feedbags strapped to their faces, quietly snarfing whatever kibble’s in there. This right here is the cure to the male loneliness epidemic. Not a cell phone in sight, just people living in the Feedbag Friday moment.

Judge Parker, 1/30/26

Thank you Ann, this is what everyone who reads this strip has been trying to say for months