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B.C., 2/27/07

B.C.’s love of the interrobang should come as no surprise to regular readers of the strip. But since it’s not a love shared by the population at large, it probably wouldn’t have hurt to actually, you know, show one (if your browser can display it, you should see one here: ‽). Since most readers probably never even heard of this useless punctuation mark even during its 1960s heyday, that first panel might as well have read “Who can tell me what a ‘shootupsuspect’ is?”

B.C.’s use of the accidental (or “accidental”) death of someone in police custody as joke fodder should also come as no surprise to regular readers of the strip.

Speaking of odd typography, what exactly is that symbol between the 2 and the 4 on the blackboard in the third panel? It looks like a backwards “R” — like the one used in the title of that Amerika miniseries in the 1980s, where the Soviets take over and then put all registered gun owners into concentration camps. Hmm, I’m seeing a pattern here.

Judge Parker, 2/27/07

You watch out, Angela! Cedric is going to point the hell out of at you! Look at that blast of energy — he points with the pointing power of a thousand temp butlers!

Lord only knows what sort of outfit Cedric favors when he’s not on duty, but panel two is proof that it’s physically impossible to look menacing and bad-ass when you’re wearing a bow tie.

Apartment 3-G, 2/27/07

Yeah, see, this is what I’m talking about: Margo, baby, Margo! Just as Lu Ann’s art studio adventure is a cautionary tale on the dangers of huffing paint, so Margo’s drama illustrates how cocaine use can ravage your relationship with others. In panel one, our girl Magee is a tightly coiled spring of rage, ready to punch the next person who crosses her — or even looks at her funny — right in the teeth. In panel two, she’s so happy to see Eric that she looks like she’s going to lunge at him and tear off his clothes, or possibly his face. I hope that the “someone special” that Eric wants her to meet is wearing a catcher’s mask, for his or her sake.

Dennis the Menace, 2/27/07

Ruff also doesn’t have to go to school, and gets to urinate outside and roll around in his own filth. On the other hand, there’s the whole castration angle to consider.

Momma, 2/27/07

If you have to repeat the same phrase twice — once to mishear, once to clarify — in consecutive panels, then your miscommunication-themed joke has gone off the rails. On the other hand, I appreciate the mace-like object that Tina is holding in the final panel. Apparently she feels that Mother Hobbes deserves to be bludgeoned to death.

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Dennis the Menace, 2/17/07

OK, it’s official: somebody over at Dennis the Menace central thinks that spelling “vegetables” as “veg-tables” is automatically hilarious. And it’s not, OK? It’s just … not. Stop it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/17/07

“And by ‘we,’ I obviously mean ‘our dog.’ That’s why we had a V-chip installed in her brain!”

Judge Parker, 2/17/07

Wow, yesterday I thought Neddy’s weird nauseated face was supposed to represent shock and surprise; today we learn that in fact, she really is massively hung over and on the verge of hurling all over everyone waiting in line to register for classes. This will surely earn her the permanent nickname of la Barfeuse among her classmates.

Also, if her right hand gesture is any indication, she seems to have joined a gang at some point over the course of the previous night’s activities.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/17/07

This tale is perhaps understood a little better if we reverse the sequence. “Howzat again? Buttbrain loathes his wife with every fiber of his being, but then … when he goes to work … heh, heh … there’s no end to the inappropriate sexual advances! OH YEAH!”

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Pluggers, 2/16/07

You know, sometimes you don’t know how good you have it until suddenly you have it much, much worse. For instance, for all the crimes that Pluggers has perpetrated against humor and good sense, before setting eyes on this I never had to contemplate the concept of a “sexy plugger.” Nor did I have to lay eyes on her “erotic” undergarments. Nor did I have to consider the fact that someone out there, presumably after accidentally discovering their “little plugger” masturbating furiously to Internet pornography, thought back wistfully to his own younger days, when he much more innocently masturbated furiously while spying on his next-door neighbor. Possibly after stealing her underwear off of her clothesline for use as an aid.

Slylock Fox, 2/16/07

Fun observations about this Slylock Fox:

• The Tooth Fairy is freakin’ enormous. Isn’t she usually depicted as being as tall as a finger is long?
• The Tooth Fairy has tooth-shaped earrings.
• The Tooth Fairy wears big high-heeled shoes, in spite of (or maybe because of) the fact that she can fly instead of walking.
• Kids today apparently get folding money for their teeth, rather than the quarter that was the going rate when I was a kid.
• When your trivia questions are about things that don’t exist, you can just make the answers up!

Judge Parker, 2/16/07

“Like, oh my God! I’m rich and pretty and American and I never have to wait for anything! Don’t make me vomit all over you! I’ll do it!“