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Judge Parker, 1/26/06

Yeah, I’d bet you like her to “define” “physical” for you, wouldn’t you, Sam? I know that floor-length purple jumper has been driving you wild all night (a night that has, by my reckoning, lasted since about November). Still, you’re eventually going to have to come to grips with the fact that your clown-haired girlfriend gets most of her jollies through spying on her daughter. Oh, the shame.

Down in the rural south, on the other hand, the folks have a less complicated relationship with their physical desires:

Yeah, “entertainment.” Check out Mark’s Spock-style eyebrows in this panel. Maybe he’ll take care of this clan of bumpkins with some well-timed Vulcan neck pinches.

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Family Circus, 1/16/06

I’m not sure what’s more alarming about this panel: how damn satisfied all of Billy’s little friends look in the aftermath of his killer grandmother-related anecdote, or how smug Billy himself looks for having told it. I’m also perplexed by the very notion of cute-grandmother-story-time in modern American public schools. Shouldn’t these eight-year-olds be desperately cramming for the next round of No Child Left Behind Act-mandated standardized tests rather than laxidasicaly swapping amusing stories about their elderly relatives?

By the way, I’m assuming that by “cute,” Billy’s teacher means “incontinence-themed.”

Meanwhile, in Judge Parker, the double-entendre horror continues:

Honestly, it’s like they’re trying to make it impossible for me not to be puerile.

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Holy cow, Spider-Man and his wife just had spider-sex … the proportionate sex of a spider!

Er. Next week, this blog will feature lots more comics zaniness, and lots less whining and bellyaching. Promise. Until tomorrow, please enjoy the sophmoric humor above.

Oh, unrelated, but: those of you who enjoy Drink At Work may have noticed that they haven’t been updating this week either. In their case, this is not due to sheer laziness as with me, but rather is due to technical problems. Does anyone reading this consider themselves an expert with using Blogger with an external Web host? ‘Cause they sure could use your help. Here’s the contact info.

Oh, one more sophmoric jab before I give this week up as a bad job, blogging-wise:

Uh, yeah, “tongue thing.” Yeah. Ew.