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Mark Trail, 5/31/14

I don’t want to alarm you, but Mark Trail has spent almost as much time expressing affection for his wife (a human female) as he did gaping in wonder at the majesty of animal-on-animal combat. Will new-model Mark Trail now consist of episodes of Mark feeling emotions like a real person interspersed with violence dished out by the natural world? If so, my pick for the next animal attacker is the hawk in panel three, which has had enough of all this making out in its forest home and is swooping down to dish out harsh justice with its razor-sharp talons.

Beetle Bailey, 5/31/14

If it’s Saturday in Beetle Bailey, it must be General And Mrs. Halftrack Loathe Each Other With A Terrifying Passion Day! Here they are reading the paper in the morning, glowering at each other through sad, drooping eyelids and carping about the General’s ignorance about everything, including the institution to which he’s dedicated his life. Why should she ask him about the army? Why ask him about anything at all? Why talk? Why go on living?

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Mark Trail, 5/27/14

“Honey, when the bear was closing in on me, I didn’t fear for my own safety … all I could think of was you! I just filled my mind with a vision of your face, and I prayed, inwardly, with all my might, ‘O Ursicus Maximus, Lord of Bears, please call your servants away from me, and I promise that I will make a sacrifice to you out of this beautiful she-human. Spare me, O Bear God, and you will be paid back a thousand-fold in blood.’ Anyway, now I’m going outside for a little stroll, maybe down to the sacred grove that shelters the ancient Bear Altar … care to join me?”

Apartment 3-G, 5/27/14

Whoops, looks like in all the time Tommie’s been working for no pay down at the large animal cult compound, Jack neglected to mention his girlfriend! Carol refuses to address Jack with the “Doctor” honorific that his veteranarian status would seem to call for, but on the other hand she’s eager to make out with him even though he’s coated in cow afterbirth-goo, so they seem to have a good thing going on.

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Mark Trail, 5/18/14

According to Wikipedia, Jack Elrod has been involved in Mark Trail in one capacity or another since 1950. But only now, in one of his last Sunday strips, has he managed to live out his lifelong dream of getting hardcore seahorse pornography in newspapers across the country.

Archie, 5/18/14

Dear comics artists who forgot to submit their Mother’s Day strips in time: I have some good news for you!

Blondie, 5/18/14

Look, I’m just going to come out and say what we’re all thinking: this sounds like a really shitty play.