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Dennis the Menace, 5/9/20

I guess the flavor of mence that’s supposed to be happening here is that Dennis is trying to instigate a fight between his nebbishy dad — who, I feel compelled to point out, is not only wearing a sweater vest but has tucked it into his pants — and this lumbering, pompadoured fellow with fists the size of hams. But the fact that Dennis is talking to the other kid makes it seem like he’s sending a signal, like it’s time to rise up against the Tall Ones who are unfairly suppressing the children. Look how excited the little girl in the car is! She knows! The revolution is here!

Mark Trail, 5/9/20

Oh, uh, I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s been going in Mark Trail, but it seems that nobody was killed in that terrible forest fire! Remember, “Glad you made it!” is a thing you can say when your coworker drops by the little party you’re throwing at your place, and also when you see some people that you were worried might have burned to death.

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Mark Trail, 4/24/20

Oh, hey, sorry I haven’t been keeping you up to date on what’s been up with Rusty and Kevin’s big walk in the woods. What’s happening is this: the woods are on fire! You can tell how pure of hearts these two lads are because they’re worried about how everyone else is doing as they run through the flames. Isn’t that cute? They’re all gonna die!

Funky Winkerbean, 4/24/20

I’ve been staring at this strip for a while now, growing increasingly upset both at it, for not having having any joke in it, and at myself, for either somehow missing an obvious joke or spending too much time staring at a strip that doesn’t have a joke in it and trying to will one into existence, with my mind. I feel like it has the rhythm of wordplay — like, “close to the action” should have one obvious, straightforward meaning, and then also have some punny double entendre implication, but it doesn’t have either. It’s not even a single-entendre. It’s a zero-entendre. Plus nobody refers to the Hollywood ‘Hills’ with some kind of implied quote marks around them. THEY’RE LITERALLY HILLS ARGH ARGH ARGH

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Panels from Crankshaft, 4/19/20

“I’m that bus driver with the awful accident record they keep doing the I-team reports about. I’ve killed dozens of children! I’m widely loathed!”

Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/19/20

Hey, Slylock, I’m pretty sure you’ve never pushed an egg through your cloaca but if you did and you knew there was a place where they were giving out the good painkillers, you’d probably want to be there too, you know?

Mark Trail 4/19/20

“OH SAY KIDS DID YOU EVER WANT TO HURT OR KILL SOMEONE … WITH A PLANT? HERE’S A BUNCH OF PLANTS THAT ARE POISONOUS! I’M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, I’M JUST SAYING … HERE THEY ARE”