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Mark Trail, 5/24/20

Hey, kids, you might think that Communism in general, and longtime Hungarian Socialist Workers’ Party General Secretary János Kádár in particular, are pretty cool. But would any just political system have made these adorable fuzzy pigs into an endangered species? Say what you will about the authoritarian tendencies of current Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán, but the mangalitsa is back, baby!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/24/20

The current story of Hollywood is that mid-budget movies have essentially ceased to exist, which means that directors usually leap directly from tiny indies to huge comic-book blockbusters; this has been the trajectory of Taika Waititi (who went from twee, offbeat New Zealand comedies to Thor: Ragnarok) and Colin Trevorrow (who made Safety Not Guaranteed for $750,000 and then did Jurassic World and almost got to do a Star Wars). But in the Funkyverse, where everything is backwards and people apparently find Les Moore not just likable but admirable, Mason is going to convince his pal to go the other way, from making millions from Starbuck Jones, an exciting movie that apparently many people enjoyed, to directing the maudlin, unwatchable Lisa’s Story, sure, why not!

Dennis the Menace, 5/24/20

Guys, today’s Dennis the Menace, in which Dennis never appears and his parents are the real dog-neglecting menace, tantalizes us with the vision of a version of this strip that’s just day after day of Mr. Wilson coming up with petty acts of revenge on everyone who’s ever wronged him, and honestly? I’ve never wanted anything more.

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Mark Trail, 5/23/20

“Well, of course, Mark, that’s understandable. But we’re not doing another camping trip for a couple of months. Maybe in the fall you might want to–”

“MY DOG, GEOFF. MY DOG ANDY. HE’S VERY BIG. MY CALENDAR IS EXTREMELY FULL, WITH ANDY TIME”

The Lockhorns, 5/23/20

Well, the online discourse that erupted after Martin Scorsese declared that Marvel movies aren’t cinema a few months ago has mostly died down, but Leroy? Leroy is ready to fan the flames again. Watch out, film Twitter!

Mary Worth, 5/23/20

“I can’t really explain it, but when I got to the airport in Santa Royale, the city where I grew up and where I go to college, I really felt like I was home! Probably because I live here, I guess. Oh, also Jared was there to drive me back to the condo or whatever.”

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Mark Trail, 5/20/20

Wow, Geoff really is working his way up Maslow’s hierarchy for Kevin, isn’t he? He’s managed to see to Kevin’s safety needs (preventing him from being burned to death in a forest fire) and physiological needs (getting him with a family who will feed and house him). When will Kevin experience belongingness, esteem, and emotional self-actualization? (Trick question: nobody in Mark Trail has any handle on what an “emotion” is or how to deal with experiencing them, other than punching.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/20/20

“Hmm, you’re saying I should … care about the opinons of women over the age of 21? That’s seems crazy. I’ve never done it before … but what do I have to lose, at this point?”

Gil Thorp, 5/20/20

“Look, see this sunset, or possibly sunrise? It symbolizes your new day dawning, or maybe the end of your time at Milford, depending on which one it is, but the important thing is that once you submit to your new and totally unfair fate, you’re not my problem anymore, so why don’t you get on that? The sooner the better.”