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Mary Worth, 3/6/08

Self-Satisfaction Week continues at the Charterstone Compound. “Wrong advice? Ha ha my dear, I’ll have you know I’m well-intentioned! And as someone once told me, “The road to . . . er . . . a happy outcome is paved with good intentions!”

Mark Trail, 3/6/08

Poor Johnny Malotte has had to endure a lot of exposition this week — yesterday from Mark; today from Sergeant Mountie McQueen. Fortunately none of it reaches him, aloft on his jimson-weed pinnacle of bliss: “Eez zat zo? Come, mon ami, ‘ave a word eenstaid weeth M’seiur Marc — I must return, return now to Eextlan! Oooh, look down zair — eet ees ma fran’ M’sieur ‘Awk! ‘Allo, M’sieur ‘Awk!”

For Better or For Worse, 3/6/08

OK, anybody would have to be blind not to see how this will work out. Nicely played, Warren, but wasted on Anthony — what’s left to crush?

– Uncle Lumpy

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Curtis, 2/27/08 and 3/5/08

What? He can’t take it off? No mystery there: just the sad, predictable end of another “magical Gunk” story arc. But what’s with Gunk’s eyes in panel four of today’s strip? They seem . . . oddly . . . normal. Is this the end of magical Gunk? It’s a mystery!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/5/08

OK, looking for moral coherence in Rex Morgan isn’t likely to pay off, but let’s give it a shot. Niki is apologizing: why? Alternatives are: a) he did something wrong, b) his efforts turned out badly, c) he wants to bond with Rex. Did he do something wrong? He rightly refused a thief’s offer of the bank’s money, but later took possession of some of it himself. Maybe a little bad — he intended to keep the bank’s money — but c’mon. And he nobly turned down a reward. OK, did his efforts turn out badly? Rex, not Niki, burned the damned money! Finally, why would Niki want to bond with this dangerous, sanctimonious idiot? It’s a mystery!

Mark Trail, 3/5/08

OK, giving English usage advice to Mark Trail is likely to fall on deaf fists, but the fact that Luke’s operation might save him for prison isn’t ironic — nobody, including the author, is saying one thing and meaning another. But what is it? Karma? Cosmic justice? It’s a mystery!

– Uncle Lumpy

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Lots of comings and goings in the continuity strips today!

For Better or For Worse, 3/3/08

Hey, it’s Warren, the dashing helicopter pilot! He says his head’s a mess, and he’s come to Liz for clarity. Which more or less proves his point.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/3/08

Big Rex and Little Niki, packin’ out: no fish, but no “disappointment”, either — except for poor Rex, who faces the grim prospect of sex with his wife.

Mark Trail, 3/3/08

Recaps all ’round in Mark Trail, and good news for Johnny Malotte: with Bull dead and Luke in jail, his camp empire will span the whole of Lost Forest. “Hey, Marie, now we can have those nine other kids we always dreamed about!”

Funky Winkerbean, 3/3/08

That’s it? Two weeks of the Pizza World interview just to establish that Funky’s a dick? I’d call it a waste, but squandering two weeks of Funky Winkerbean hardly qualifies. Cue Summer Moore’s championship season — too bad there wasn’t room in panel three for Bull to tell us more about what we read in panel two. C’mon Bull, focus: which of your Westview teams is going to that championship game?

Mary Worth, 3/3/08

Pool party! Pool party! Pool party! And there’s Wilbur, and Chinbeard, and Toeby — and, and Guy on the Stairs! Oh, it’s gonna be great this time, I just know it!

But what on earth are they feeding that leprechaun? And where’s Mary’s customary glass of human blood? Never mind for now — I’m sure all will be explained in the weeks and months ahead.

Pool party! Ahhhhhhh. . . .

– Uncle Lumpy