Post Content

For Better Or For Worse, 10/15/07

It’s here! Michael’s horrible, soul-killing abomination of a book, Stone Season, is here!! Oh happy day! Robin, the reason the book is so heavy isn’t because it lacks pictures. (Isn’t a picture as heavy as a thousand words, anyway?) It’s because the book contains a greater suck-to-page ratio than any book ever published before in the English language. You be careful with it, because it could collapse into a black hole of awful at any moment.

(By the way, you may think I’m being unfair and saying Michael’s book is crappy based only on some kind of generalized anti-Foob feeling; but if you’re saying that, you haven’t read the excerpts on the FBOFW site. Go on, find them in Michael’s letters … if you dare.)

It’s good to see that Deanna, who has long been consigned to child-raising and house-maintenance duties, has accepted her position as a mere employee in Michael Patterson’s Wonderful Life and has agreed to wear a name tag. Hey, wait a minute — Deanna’s a plugger! It’s the next logical step in the downward spiral of degradation.

Gil Thorp, 10/15/07

Ah, the anti-Cully hate is rising; I expect a torch-wielding mob to have formed by the end of the week. Only the student at right in panel two seems to be having second thoughts. “Gee, what happened with Cully was an accident! How can this school be so closed-minded? Now I’m afraid of what will happen if they find out I wasn’t born a biological female!”

Mark Trail, 10/15/07

GAH, WHY WON’T THIS STORYLINE STOP? At least Thomas is becoming amusingly intoxicated with all the attention he’s getting for his do-gooderism. Soon he’ll go completely over the edge, running around the forest desperately looking for a cute animal to hug.

Marmaduke, 10/15/07

His appetite for bones becoming ever more insatiable, Marmaduke has somehow convinced “Ace” to exhume a mass grave.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 10/13/07

I am heaving (hopefully not premature) thanks up to the Gods of Comics that this lame, lame, lame-ass Mark Trail storyline is finally meandering to a halt. I have disliked it both for its numerous lapses in logic and good sense and for its failure to produce a target for Mark’s fists. For the most part, I have ignored this plot in the hopes that it would go away, but I feel compelled to point out the pink stripe arching up from Evil Developer Jr.’s temple in panel three. What appears from most angles to be a lustrous, curly head of hair is actually one of the most epic combovers in human history, a work of cosmetological engineering as impressive in its own way as the Hoover Dam. Still, for all the effort that’s gone into it, it’s only staving off the inevitable, and the son will have to follow dad’s example and switch to the Lollypop Guild ’do eventually.

Mary Worth, 10/13/07

“…I want to give you this item of great importance … that’s IN MY PANTS!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/13/07

“…a .38 special revolver … IN MY PANTS!”

Jesus, every time I try to ignore the subtext in Rex Morgan, the text gets less sub. I’ll bet you’d like to learn how to shoot, Niki. Also, does anyone else think the “Y?” hat is a little flirty? This kid is totally asking for it.

Pluggers, 10/13/07

Note to self: Acquire separate business phone line post haste.

Post Content

You’ve had plenty of opportunities to read Mark Trail on this site. But you’ve probably said to yourself, “I wish I could see this comic strip stiffly acted out by amateurs! Nothing too long — only five or ten minutes, say — and perhaps in the context of a larger variety show setting.”

Well, sir or madam, if you live in the Baltimore area, or are willing to travel to same, your dreams are about to come true.

No, Mark, not even you and your flying fists can stop it! On Friday, November 9, and Saturday, November 10, some friends and I will be putting on Mark Trail Theater! Thrill as actual Mark Trail dialog and action is rendered into live performance on the stage! Marvel at the incredible resemblance between at least some of our actors and the characters that they will portray! Laugh at the deadpan irony as you try to sort out whether our performance is an homage, a parody, or something in between! One of us will be wearing a real live bear suit! DON’T MISS IT!

Mark Trail Theater will be but a single act within Glitterama!, a variety show put on by the Fluid Movement performance art group. If you live in or near Baltimore, you really ought to know about Fluid Movement by now, but if you don’t, Glitterama will be an excellent introduction. Other acts with which we will be sharing the stage include (but are not limited to) lion taming, torch song singing, gender bending, and black-lit poi swinging! (I have no idea what that last one means.) This is the third Glitterama show and the previous two were awesome — and they didn’t even have me in them, so this will clearly be all the better! The shows tend to be a bit racy; probably best not to bring the younger kids.

The performances will be at the Load of Fun Studios at the corner of Howard St. and North Ave. in Baltimore. The Friday show is a 8 p.m.; Saturday shows are at 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Tickets are $10; you can buy online at Brown Paper Tickets or at the door (if you want to risk them being sold out, which you don’t, obviously).

More updates and reminders to you to attend this fabulous performance will be upcoming. Possibly including a picture of a guy in a bear suit.

Speaking of upcoming events, those of you who are going to Small Press Expo in Bethesda tomorrow (Saturday), don’t forget that I’m moderating a panel on comics stripping with Keith Knight, Ted Rall, Bill Griffith, and Nicholas Gurewitch at 12:30 p.m. Don’t miss it!

Finally, on a totally unrelated note: as you may or may not know, one of my freelance clients is a tech-related site named ITworld.com. They’re doing a gadget giveaway over there in which you can win a Swiss Army Knife with a USB flash drive built in. All you gotta do to enter is give them your e-mail address. Somebody’s got to win; why not one of you?