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Family Circus, 2/24/07

Siddhartha Gautama was born a prince, and his parents vowed that he would never experience any suffering. When, as a young man, he slipped out of the palace and saw an old man, a sick man, and a corpse, the shock set him on a spiritual journey, at the end of which he became known as the Buddha, or “the Awakened One.”

Since Dolly has apparently been kept in some kind of hermetically-sealed plastic bubble, protected even from insects, for her entire life, I’m curious as to what sort of religion she’s going to found as a result of her stunning first encounter with these tiny filth-eating creatures. I’m guessing it will really, really like ants, or really, really hate them.

Mark Trail, 2/24/07

Who knew that Dan would make this the sexiest Mark Trail storyline ever, what with his strolling around naked day after day? Admittedly, random objects intervene so we can’t see his perky man-nips, but this is Mark Trail, where a lady’s sexiest outfit is a pink polo shirt, so you have to take sexiness where you can find it. The first panel in particular, taken in isolation, would work if Dan were about to go on stage one more time tonight as part of some tawdry Chippendale-style revue; even though he’ll be subject to the drunken stares and hooting of dozens of women, he assures his lady love that hers is the only gaze he really cares about.

I’m assuming Dan’s “thing” is actually some kind of ill-conceived insurance scam involving faking his own death. The plan will fail because it relies on Sally’s anguished reaction in the wake of Dan’s feigned demise; since she never seems to have any dialogue, I’m guessing that her inability to speak will derail the scheme.

Funky Winkerbean, 2/24/07

So, yeah, this happened. Do you think maybe all the other FW suffering is in video game form too? Harry Dingle could get his hearing back if he just got more power-ups? Cancer Girl is really playing Halo’s “Remission” mod?

They’ll Do It Every Time, 2/24/07

I’ve mostly posted this so that you could unironically enjoy the Loyal Order of Caribou roll call (including “Anson Pantz” and “Harv Buttly”). But I do wonder whether Schnookly is less a “member” of the club and more its “hired servant.” It would explain a lot.

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Ziggy, 2/22/07

Oh, man! Zing! Who else but Ziggy would dare to make this sort of cutting, politically-charged joke about the Savings and Loan scandal? And only twenty years after the last of the fallout ended, too! Pow! Preach on, brother! Somewhere, Neil Bush’s ears are burning! And this time, it’s not something he caught from a Thai prostitute.

Mark Trail, 2/22/07

“That’s right! Mark will be none the wiser about the fact that I peed in his lake! I’ll be sipping piña coladas on a weirdly nonspecific tropical island before you know it!”

Seriously, I don’t know what’s more stilted and artificial: that Dan is narrating his evil plotting aloud, or that Dan is narrating his evil plotting aloud in a weird, circumlocutory way that preserves suspense about what exactly his evil plot is. On the other hand, maybe the whole point of this exercise has been to get that sexy second panel drawing of him shirtless, dripping wet, and perfectly coifed out there. If so, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, baby.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/22/07

“Yes, let’s go take a look … at my vagina!”

…

OK, I think I’ve gone about as far with this as I can.

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Dennis the Menace, 2/15/07

Can anyone explain to me what Dennis is supposed to be doing in this panel? Is he riding his chair like a horsey? Is that it? That doesn’t seem menacing so much as insane. If he were swinging the chair around at the heads of the other children, that would be menacing.

I note that Dennis’ chair does not have a little desk attachment like the other children’s. Perhaps he ripped it off and flung at someone. That’d be menacing, though apparently The Man doesn’t want to show it to us.

Mark Trail, 2/15/07

“Yeah, I did a lot of foolish things back then! Like take advantage of the opportunities afforded by my military service to learn an exciting and interesting trade that would allow me to get high-paying jobs in civilian life!”

Does Sally ever get to decide things for herself? Dan may have released his death grip on her upper arms, but it looks like he’s got a hold that’s just as strong on her soul. It may be that his raw sexual charisma has her under his spell — check out those pecs in panel two! That is one well-fitted turtleneck.

Judge Parker, 2/15/07

OH, SNAP! FEEL THE BURN, MME. SPENCER!

If it turns out that it never occurred to Abbey and Neddy that a French art school might conduct its classes in French, I will be very, very happy. “But … but … I bought a beret! I can’t believe you expect me to do more to fit in!”