Archive: Mark Trail

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Monday and Tuesday comics coming later today, I swear, but to tide you over, I present some troubling evidence sent to me by readers.

First off, faithful reader David was alerted to troubling doings in Mark Trail by co-worker Joe Krocheski. No, I’m not talking about poaching, bear abuse, or wandering beavers; it’s much more sinister than that. Here’s the November 15 and 27 strips:

And I thought it was just the plot that was giving me deja vu.

Then there’s the e-mail I got from faithful reader Daijinryuu in regard to Sunday’s Family Circus:

Just within the last week, I stumbled upon a rather horrible, crazy-beyond-the-telling-of-it manga called “The Family Zoo,” which shares rather … striking similarities to this. Dad is an elephant, Mom is a giraffe, the two brothers are a monkey and a lion respectively. The only thing different is that the daughter is being portrayed as an ostrich instead of a snake. Also, Grandpa’s a toilet. It involves bestial incest and, um, toilet use.

He provided the link to download it, which I provide to you, but WARNING WARNING WARNING: it’s really really gross, with the pooing and the coprophagia and the incest and the lion penises and the hey hey. But if you want to appreciate the link-up with the Family Circus, here ya go. Faithful reader Sincere also posted a link in the comments to one of yesterday’s posts, but Daijinryuu pointed it out to me first (not that it’s a race or anything).

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/3/06

I see that Rex Morgan has broken down and introduced its first black character since January. Of course, he’s a drug dealer. I like the fact that, even in the midst of a causal business-related discussion with one of his employees, he’s flashing a gang sign — because he’s that hardcore about being a gangsta. Even though we can’t see his hands in the final panel, I’d like to belive that he’s maintaining that gang sign as his lab goes up in flames. Because he’s that hardcore.

Meanwhile, June’s hit the nicey-nice trough of her emotional roller-coaster ride. As a result, Niki’s starting to warm up to her, but since her reflexes aren’t so hair-trigger at this point in her cycle of psychosis, he should really be using this opportunity to flee. That’s what Rex does.

Family Circus, 12/3/06

A commentor with some kind of inside track on the funnies posted a link to this earlier this week, but I still wasn’t emotionally prepared to see Billy’s monstrous peyote-fueled nightmare in living color in the paper. I think I’m most disturbed by Daddy: everyone else at least gets a human head on an animal body, but the horrifying combination of the man’s face with the prehensile trunk and huge, drooping ears nearly sent me over the edge. I do kind of feel bad for PJ, who has to be a feeble, hapless infant even in this twisted Dr. Moreau-esque hellscape.

Spider-Man, 12/3/06

You know, MJ and Doc Ock’s semantic “web-crawler” vs. “wall-crawler” vs. “web-spinner” debate is the most exciting conflict this strip has seen in, well, ever. If the city is going to be held at bay for the next six weeks by further argument along this line, I for one am willing to accept that.

Mark Trail, 12/3/06

You know, I … I had always assumed that pirates were the pirates of the sea. Call me crazy.

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For Better Or For Worse, 11/28/06

No, you see Ellie, in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the strong, handsome, interesting police, who investigate crime; and the witnesses, who mumble testimony through their cinnamon-bun-crumb-laden mustaches and try to avoid mentioning their total contempt for the niceties of fair trials in a common law jurisdiction. This one’s already out of Paul’s hands, I’m afraid.

Seriously, though, this is the worst thing ever. I hate all of you, die, die, die, die.

Apartment 3-G, 11/28/06

Hey, man, who’s that crazy cat with the sideburns and the granny glasses? Is it another one of Alan’s beatnik art friends? Crazy kick, man! Outta site!

Garfield, 11/28/06

Forced to finally confront the concept of human sexuality, Jon Arbuckle has apparently suffered a massive stroke. One can only hope that Garfield will be as skilled a caretaker as Iris is for Jim Patterson, but he’s more likely to lose interest and eventually just eat his hapless patient.

Mark Trail, 11/28/06

What … but … I … just … buh …

[A few more moments of incoherent sputtering ensues.]

NOW LOOK HERE! Just because we all were like, “Oooh, Molly, we love Molly, Molly’s so cute, oh no, what will happen to Molly?” doesn’t mean our appetite for adorable animals in trouble is limitless. We recognize blatant emotional manipulation when we see it, and the Adorable Adolescent Beaver Who Isn’t Quite Ready To Leave The Lodge is just such manipulation wrapped up in smooth brown fur with a big flat tail at one end.

Oh, who am I kidding. Oh my God, what if Molly and the beaver meet and have adorable adventures in the woods together. SO CUTE!!!!

What sort of little boy wears his vintage 1940s Boy Scout uniform, complete with cravat, to dinner? A sad and maladjusted little boy, that’s what kind. Rusty should get together with that other comics misfit, little Sarah Morgan. Except that, what with June off screaming at tweakers and Rex off doing … well, whatever it is he’s doing, probably cruising for anonymous gay sex in the city parks, nobody really seems to be much paying attention to her, and she’s probably starved to death by now.

Funky Winkerbean, 11/28/06

You might think that this is the most horrifying thing you can imagine, but my wife’s been to a baby shower where people microwaved candy bars in diapers so they looked exactly like you’d think melted candy bars in a diaper would look and then passed them around and everyone had to guess what kind of candy bar was in each. So frankly I think the concept of a stripper dressed (for the moment) as Santa Claus giving a lap dance to an extremely pregnant one-armed woman sounds quite charming in comparison. At least all these blatantly randy women aren’t dressed as sexy elves. Let’s cling to that shred of dignity.