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So, I had a little quickie ready to do for Saturday’s Rex Morgan:

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/18/06

I think it was going to involve the phrase “From the people who brought you the Wildly Overacted Margo Reaction Shot™, it’s the Wildly Overacted Rex Reaction Shot™!” or some such thing. That’s before I saw what a hot, heavin’ hunk of thinly veiled homosexuality awaited me on Sunday and realized that it might not be so overacted after all:

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/06

February 19th’s Rex Morgan, M.D.: How gay art thou? Let me count the ways:

1. Panel two: “Define ‘play’!”
2. Panel five: “He said you took lessons from him a couple years back!” Radiating surprise lines. “Uh oh … is my cover blown?”
3. Panel six: Deep, inappropriate discomfort, covered up with tie adjustment. Stuttering. Embarrassment. Desperate attempt to figure out potentially dirty meanings of “saved his life.”
4. Panel seven: “Like I said .. I’ve heard a lot about you, Rex!” Come-hither stare. Potential three-way at 19th hole in the not-so-distant future.

You know who I think is most shocked by all this same-gender loving, going on (almost) in the open? The purple, ghostly shade of LBJ, in the far left of panel one.

And just because Rex is all gayin’ it up (again), don’t think that events in Sunday’s Mark Trail got past me. This edition was about ospreys or some crap like that, but the most important thing about it is that in it Mark appears to be drunk:

“You know what’s awesome? Frickin’ … ospreys!”

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Mark Trail, 2/13/06

It’s troubling times in the soaps: Mary Worth has been reduced to thought-ballooning platitudes to herself; Rex Morgan has managed to make a plotline about war, drugs, and gambling boring. Therefore, it’s nice to see that, after a long time of losing his way, Mark Trail has finally delivered the goods. There’s been a lot of awesome stuff in this storyline — half-brother-on-half-sister leering, Mark naked and nippleless, a skinny bumpkin thrown to the pigs, a St. Bernard fighting an alligator — but this scene, in which our hillbilly triumvirate is brushed back with a lusty ZZIP! like so many inbred bowling pins, brings everything to a pinnacle that we won’t reach again for many moons, so take a moment to enjoy it now.

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The Phantom, 2/11/06

Panel three: Does that teaser line imply that the Bandar are going to eat the Phantom’s kids? Please, please, please let the Bandar eat the Phantom’s kids. I hear white tweenagers are pleasing to the Bandar tongue.

Mark Trail, 2/11/06

Ah, the classic “Look! Over there!” move. Mark may be getting fancy in this adventure with his jungle traps and whatnot, but he’s always willing to go to the basics when they work, as they inevitably would against this clan of mouthbreathers. Question for discussion: is the point of this ploy to further emphasize the “hillbillies are stupid” theme we’ve got going here, or just a desperate attempt to bring things back to the origin of this plotline?