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Mark Trail, 11/20/18

It’s no secret that I haven’t been a fan of this Mark Trail storyline as it drags endlessly along. But at least I had high hopes for Cool Motorcycle Guy. What twists did he have in store for us? Like, was he going to murder Rusty, or have some weird backstory with Mark, or what? And so, now that he’s on a roof, getting into an extremely petty verbal altercation with a toucan … well, I’m not going to say I hate it, because obviously I love it. But I did expect a more dignified denouement for our friend here.

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/18

Dennis, I am genuinely disappointed in you. This isn’t menacing at all. This is some sub-Jeffy Keane darnedest thing saying. Unless you have some sinister plan to accelerate the earth’s rotation so that, briefly, day and night alternately so quickly that the terms lose all meaning right before we all die in fire and horror. But that seems a little beyond your menacing capabilities, so I’m going to go with “oh, you’re just a moron.”

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Hagar the Horrible, 11/14/18

You know there’s an “uncensored” version of this where Sven is out there pulling gold teeth out of corpses, and that armor glove at the right in panel two is a severed hand. Honestly, given the level of editorial oversight the syndicated comics have seen lately, that probably could’ve run in the paper and nobody would’ve noticed.

Gil Thorp, 11/14/18

Sadly, this plotline continues to spiral downward away from wacky hijinks, and today has reached the depressing end state of far too many Gil Thorp plots, where Gil And Kaz Solemnly Decide To Do The Right Thing Even Though It’ll Cost Them. BORING!

Mark Trail, 11/14/18

Oh, hey, you’re probably wondering what’s going on in Mark Trail! Specifically, you’re probably wondering “Is Rusty’s mouth becoming an increasingly puckered and inhuman orifice, a baffling and unnerving opening in his face-flesh?” I regret to inform you that the answer is yes.

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Ahh, Sunday Mark Trail nature facts, what do you have for me this week?

Mark Trail panel 1, 10/28/18

“Very few!” That certainly sounds extremely reassuring.

Mark Trail panel 2, 10/28/18

Wait, WHAT. What the fuck. Holy shit. Savage. Child-sized. SQUAMATES????

Mark Trail, 10/28/18

WAIT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE AFRAID OF THESE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT LIZARDS OR NOT. ARE THEY FRIEND OR FOE. ARE THEY ONE OF THE VERY FEW KINDS OF LIZARD THAT POSE A THREAT TO HUMANS OR ARE THEY JUST A DANGER TO, LIKE, THE ECOSYSTEM OR WHATEVER BUT THEY’RE NOT ACTUALLY GONNA EAT US. LIKE I KNOW WE’RE PART OF THE ECOSYSTEM, ULTIMATELY, BUT LIKE ARE YOU USING “ECOSYSTEM” IN THAT REALLY INCLUSIVE SENSE HERE. PLEASE MARK I DEPEND ON YOU TO LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH I SHOULD PANIC

Shoe, 10/28/18

You know, I spend a lot of time on this blog musing about how the animals took over in Slylock Fox but next to none on the background of the bird-world of Shoe. And while I believe that the animal regime in Slylock was established by a sudden and violent revolution, I think that the Shoe bird-folk evolved to fill the niche left open after humanity went extinct on its own. The bird-men’s paleontological sciences are apparently underdeveloped, and they believe that many of the landscape modifications we left behind — the golf courses, for instance — are simply natural features of the landscape; the more religious among them see them as proof of a loving Bird-God who wants them to be happy, or, in this case, mildly frustrated.