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Hi and Lois, 10/5/21

I’m not sure when, strictly speaking, we can say that untucked shirts came into fashion, but I’m going to say that it’s been … pretty much my entire adult life? And I’m 47? Anyway, I like how absolutely thrilled Hi looks in panel one. He never thought he’d live to see the day when a man might untuck his shirttails and still retain his dignity, but that day has arrived, and his life has been transformed.

Marvin, 10/5/21

There are two big narrative problems with this strip. One is that Bitsy’s character model includes full-time collar wearing — he’s got one on in this very strip — so it’s weird for the fish to imply that it’s a potty-specific accessory. Maybe this should’ve said “leash”? Two, fish “go potty” in their own bowl, turning their very environment into a stew of their own wastes, which is surely more shameful than however you want to think about what dogs have going on this department. The thing I hate about Marvin is that it makes you think about pissing and shitting on several narrative layers at any given moment.

Pluggers, 10/5/21

Look, when pluggers are all smug about how down-homey and real-American they are, I enjoy getting riled up about it. But when they’re wracked with shame about their strange, man-animal bodies? That’s a lot less fun, in my opinion. Please, pluggers, get your act together so you may remain a worthy antagonist for me!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/5/21

Jokes on you, Grimm! That guy’s not a man at all! He’s a bird!

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Mary Worth, 9/20/21

Oh my god, everybody, it’s really happening, where by “it” I specifically mean that Wilbur is going to go to the animal shelter to get a dog for all the wrong reasons! Not sure if he’s going to lead with “I’m a real piece of shit and my dumb old neighbor says one of these mongrels will make me marginally more tolerable” or “I’m horny and I hear ladies like guys with dogs,” but I hopefully we’re going to learn that they do not, in fact, give out pets to just anybody.

Marvin, 9/20/21

I have to admit that I find the image in panel one, with a very tiny baby just sitting there outside Marvin’s front door, very funny! The fact he’s alone out there is part of it. He looks like he’s too young to walk or even crawl, and so you have to assume that his parents just plopped him down there and then abandoned him, possibly forever. Anyway, Bitsy probably isn’t going to maul him to death, but if he wanted to, who’s going to stop him? An adult? No adults care about these babies! If the dog doesn’t get them, something else will!

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Hello, everyone, I have returned to my comics mocking duties! Everyone who gave to the summer fundraiser will be getting a personal thank you note, but I want to send everyone a huge public thank-you now, and also send a huge thanks to the always amazing Uncle Lumpy (and his pal Turtle Carl) for filling in for me on the site!

Mary Worth, 9/7/21

Big Mary Worth news always seems to happen in my absence. In this case, it was Wilbur getting dumped, which was almost as emotionally violent as the big gangland shootout I missed back in 2009. As usual, I’m just left with the hilarious aftermath, which in this case is Wilbur “lamenting” his situation, if strutting angrily around the perfectly manicured Santa Royale grounds with clenched fists absolutely seething about how his girlfriend dumped him just because he was an asshole counts as a “lament.”

Dick Tracy, 9/7/21

In Dick Tracy, meanwhile, we have a couple new masked playing card themed villains to deal with, and frankly I think keeping their masks on while just hanging around their lair/office shooting the shit may be overcommitting to the bit somewhat, unless Diet Smith’s Time Drone really can spy on anyone, anywhere, in which case they’re the first people to catch on to the new reality where we’re all going to be wearing ski masks all the time now.

Marvin, 9/7/21

I had to go back to the strips from my vacation to make sure there wasn’t a Marvin plot where Jenny got pregnant or something, but no, there’s no real context for this strip, in which Jeff and Jenny are lying in bed staring at the ceiling in horror at the thought that another hell-child might someday join the hell-child they currently have. So I assume that we’re seeing the moment just after they almost gave into their lustful marital urges but resisted at the last minute because the prospect of creating a Marvin-sibling, despite what I assume are multiple medical interventions to prevent such an accursed outcome, once again snuffed their arousal out.