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Ha ha, it’s funny because the old men hate their wives

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Marvin, 12/7/24

Black Friday? Enh. Small business Saturday? Whatever. Cyber Monday? Who cares. The real biggest shopping day of the year, as anyone tapped into the retail scene knows, is December 7th, the day that shall live in infamy. Millions of Americans will spend the day solemnly remembering the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor by buying a bunch of shitty presents for their spouses that their spouses won’t like. It’s the reason for the season!

Mary Worth, 12/7/24

The thing about today’s Mary Worth is that it’s pretty funny as is but it’s really funny if you imagine every line being barked out as mirthlessly and sarcastically as possible. Give it a shot! Imagine that these two really dislike each other at the level of intensity that normal people would dislike Mary Worth and/or Wilbur Weston!

Hi and Lois, 12/7/24

I agree that snitching is bad, Ditto, but writing your name on the cookie box was a terrible choice. You just lost all plausible deniability! You self-snitched, which is just embarrassing.

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Quick takes on still more babies and other terrible children

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Marvin, 11/20/24

Good news, everyone! Marvin? The terrible baby? The one who does all the pissing and shitting? Well, he doesn’t know about sex yet. Yet. Fingers crossed he never does.

Beetle Bailey, 11/20/24

Uh, Sarge, pretty sure that jeep belongs to the U.S. Army, and therefore ultimately to the American taxpayer? Which, I guess you’re one of those, but so is Miss Buxley.

Dennis the Menace, 11/20/24

Dennis believes that he and he alone possesses free will and is not bound by unbreakable fate; in his mind, he is the world’s sole protagonist. Folks … not to overstate this, but that’s about as menacing as it gets.

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Mostly babies

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Hi and Lois, 11/19/24

See, here’s an example of why Hi and Lois absolutely should stick to its post-punchline vibes: today’s strip does have a punchline, and it sucks. Oh, what’s that? You don’t watch a form of televised entertainment that’s become omnipresent because it’s cheap to produce and activates the same base pleasure centers in the human bran that react to cocaine? You’d rather contemplate the slow-moving majesty of nature instead? Thanks, smug baby, you’ve really given us all something to think about, via extremely mild wordplay.

Marvin, 11/19/24

Two of the worst things about Marvin are (a) it’s often about the title character peeing and pooing, and his adversarial relationship to toilets and being potty trained, and (b) it never really lands on whether the title character is a preverbal infant who communicates with thought balloons, in which case the peeing and pooing make sense, or a child old enough to go to school independently and talk out loud and such. Anyway, today’s strip hits both of these low notes, if you’re keeping track.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/19/24

Is Rex Morgan a fast-paced, gripping adventure strip that makes every visit to the comics page a thrill ride? No. But does it tackle real-world medical issues and educate the general public about their importance? Also no. But does it feature lots of drawings of hands in very specific positions and configurations? Yeah, that’s the one. It does that. We all know about “feet guys,” but if there’s such a thing as “hand guys,” as I assume there are, Rex Morgan, M.D., is their go-to, and I think that’s great.