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Marvin, 7/16/23

Setting aside for the moment the entire “how old is Marvin” question — he’s preverbal, at least for this strip, and not potty trained? — I’m not sure who we’re supposed to sympathize with here. Personally speaking I would not want to be forced to go out to “play” by myself with no friends or toys in sight. Also, I know we’re in the front yard here, but I assume he’s not supposed to be exploring the neighborhood, seeing as he’s preverbal and not potty trained? I’m all for free range kids but that seems a little young in my opinion.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/16/23

Eye surgery is, like, a thing you specialize in, right? It’s not necessarily something you want your neighbor, who’s a G.P. and never liked you in the first place and is visibly annoyed with you and your whole situation, to do after watching a quick YouTube video?

Dustin, 7/16/23

You know, this isn’t the sort of thing I’d usually recommend, but maybe Dustin’s dad could try drinking a little more. Just to take the edge off. Just as an experiment! It’s not like his personality could get much worse.

Dennis the Menace, 7/16/23

Probably unsurprising that Mrs. Wilson fears the looming spectre of death, while Mr. Wilson frankly welcomes it.

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Marvin, 6/26/23

“Because you said it in front of him in English, a language he absolutely speaks and understands! Yeah, I know, he’s a baby, or maybe a toddler, or maybe a four-year-old who isn’t potty trained, and sometimes he uses thought balloons and sometimes speech balloons. Nobody really can explain what’s going on. Anyway, it’s a good thing we don’t seem to be required to do a ‘joke’ of any sort here. Egg shortage ended a while ago, incidentally.”

Beetle Bailey, 6/26/23

Look, I’m as glad as anyone to say good-bye to my mid-to-late ’00s vogue for “ho ho, what if Beetle and Sarge were … FUCKING … in a kinky way” jokes, but I do appreciate that they still take the time to antagonistically flirt with one another now and then.

The Phantom, 6/26/23

Believe it or not, The Phantom is still years deep into this “the Phantom springs Savarna from prison … and the consequences may be catastrophic” storyline and I don’t feel a need to keep you updated on the details, but I do need to point out that CHHFROOSH! is a top-tier sound effect that we all need to recognize and respect.

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Dennis the Menace, 6/4/23

Part of my whole shtick on this blog is making fun of comics that just do the same jokes over and over, which itself has become repetitive, so I guess I should cautiously give Dennis the Menace credit for trying something new today, though I’m not sure if having an ill-tempered little spat with a kid on an opposing baseball team really counts as “menacing.” Honestly it’s a lot more menacing that CJ’s dog and father-coach just kind of manifest themselves out of thin air on second base in the middle of play. Also, are we supposed to take from the final panel that Dennis’s team is being coached by Henry? If so, I think it’s a funny choice to not even show him, so we can imagine him looking genuinely hurt and saying “Hey, CJ, hey … that’s not cool, man. Come on.”

Marvin, 6/4/23

Similarly, I’ll give Marvin credit from taking a day from its primary obsession (pooping) and instead dwelling on a secondary obsession (the “family” in Marvin & Family is a complex web of relationships, many of which border on outright hatred).

Dick Tracy, 6/4/23

Sprocket Nitrate was introduced in this strip way back in 2014, and her shoelessness was part of her whole deal as a dirty hippie. That was a long time ago, and now it’s the year 2023, when you can absolutely just put things in the comics pages for people who like foot stuff, so now she’s cleaned up her act a bit and being barefoot is itself her whole deal, as we’ll be shown in multiple panels per strip. Anyway, I’m glad that today’s strip also caters to my particular sicko fetish (clean, efficient intercity passenger rail travel).

Six Chix, 6/4/23

I gotta say, in the category of truly deranged Six Chix strips, this is one that I liked. That lady’s friend succumbed to Birkenstocks! She succumbed to Birkenstocks and she fuckin’ died, it’s very funny to me.