Archive: Marvin

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Marvin, 10/1/15

I definitely would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall for the comics syndicate editorial meeting that settled on the phrasing “Increase your poopy diaper output.” I mean, come on, Marvin, we know what you want to say. Increase your poop output. INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF POOP YOU OUTPUT FROM YOUR BUTTHOLE. HAVE THE COURAGE OF YOUR CONVICTIONS AND SAY IT, YOU MONSTER.

Hi and Lois, 10/1/15

I genuinely love the huge frown on Dawg’s face in this strip. Normally he just frolics with Trixie and her innocent little delusions. He doesn’t have the heart to be drawn into Ditto’s awful web of lies.

Pluggers, 10/1/15

Like he-pluggers, she-pluggers have memories good enough that they can recognize price inflation, but not so good that they can recognize improved buying power for average wages.

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Mark Trail, 8/28/15

Oh my God, what did Mark to do this mysterious professor’s car that has her all icy towards him? Did he blow it up? Did he refuse to call it Dirty? Did he use it to store a bunch of nasty lesion-covered dead sharks? Did he punch it? Probably he punched it, right?

Blondie, 8/28/15

I eat a lot of gross, crappy science-chemical food-style products, but even I’m put off by the thought of a snack that would be shelf-stable enough to sit in a vending machine for who knows how long but could still be described as “gooey.” Dagwood’s eating issues are many and fascinating, is what I’m trying to say.

Marvin, 8/28/15

A Marvin strip that ostensibly isn’t about pooping, but where the title character uses the phrases “a full load” and “dumps his cargo,” then looks at his father’s open mouth, then stares at the reader with an awful, knowing smile? I can only interpret this as an open declaration of war against me and my truth-telling.

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Family Circus, 8/25/15

I absolutely love how angry that poodle looks in this panel. “Oh, you think it’s funny how I look, you smug stump-leaning little shit? You think it’s a game? Is my grooming style incompatible with your narrow view of masculinity? You think I don’t still have razor sharp teeth?” Shit is about to get very real for our Billy.

Mark Trail, 8/25/15

Yes, that does sound like a logical explanation: a shipment of fake radioactive rods, glowing with their own eerie, mysterious light, which are an extremely popular gag gift worldwide! Nothing loosens up a birthday party or Christmas morning like the moment when someone unwraps their “radioactive” “extremely dangerous” present and shouts with delight, “Oh my God, what is this? You’ve killed us all!” These novelty items are in such high demand that they’re flown around the world via sea planes — the market can’t wait for slow container ships! Anyway, Mark, don’t worry your pretty little head about any high-tech “tests” for radiation, I’m sure everything is fine, just fine.

Wizard of Id, 8/25/15

Whoa, like, what if, like, we need both the dark and the light, working against each other, to create the huge, amazing universe we all live in, man? Anyway, long story short, this comic portrays the process by which glow-in-the-dark dorm posters and van decals were created in the 1970s and ’80s.

Marvin, 8/25/15

Oh, don’t worry, Bitsy: Marvin isn’t going to stop shitting himself just because he’s got sand in his diaper.

Marvin’s never going to stop shitting himself