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Judge Parker, 9/12/22

Hey, remember when Judge Parker Senior ran a vanity campaign for mayor, and not only didn’t win but ended up dropping out before the election even happened, which is even more embarrassing? Well, now another member of the local nobility wants in on that, apparently. Alan at least had the vague outlines of a political platform for his abortive stab at relevance — I described it at the time as “prison abolition and left-leaning NIMBYISM from a perspective of noblesse oblige” — but I’m assuming that the extremely divorced Abbey’s main goal in seeking political power will just be revenge on her various enemies, which frankly has a much greater chance of success.

Mary Worth, 9/12/22

Oh, sorry, since Dawn successfully self-actualized her breakup I thought maybe we’d be getting a new storyline this week, but no, we need Mary to explain what Dawn has learned first. Panel two makes it clear that Dawn has long experience in this scenario and knows that if she assumes an absolutely neutral facial expression this won’t last as long, or at least she can retreat to her mind palace while she waits for it to blow over.

Dick Tracy, 9/12/22

“By which I mean, you’re still gonna wear this stuff when we have sex, right? That’s kinda what I signed up for.”

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Mary Worth, 9/11/22

Man, I wasn’t sure how Mary was going to use her Jedi mind powers to get Dawn to rationalize herself out of her rage over getting dumped by the boyfriend she never respected, but “well, we were in a codependent relationship due to our various personality flaws, but then I got too emotionally healthy for him to fix so he had to dump me, which was for the best,” is really quite impressive.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/11/22

Uh, yeah, going forward I’m going to want to hear a lot less about “Count Weirdly stole some top secret plans” or whatever and a lot more about “Count Weirdly has twin sisters and they keep using their genetically identical nature to commit crimes for which they cannot be prosecuted.”

Pardon My Planet, 9/11/22

Really like the contrasting faces of the couple at the lower right here: both are sexually aroused by what they’ve just seen, but she’s in touch with her kinks and fine with that, while he’s had feelings awakened he’d rather keep buried.

Crankshaft, 9/11/22

Crankshaft’s expression in the final panel is really great. “So, uh, we’re doing really doing this, huh? Sure we can’t just do another strip where I’m an asshole to children?”

Beetle Bailey, 9/11/22

WARNING: BEETLE BAILEY HAS BECOME AWARE OF THE CONCEPT OF “FURSONAS,” THREAT LEVEL ALPHA, REPEAT, THREAT LEVEL ALPHA

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It’s Labor Day in the U S of A and Canada—let’s see how our pals in the comics are kicking back on the unofficial Last Day of Summer!

Mary Worth, 9/5/22

Mary Worth settles in with a good book during Charterstone’s most restrained and patriotic pool party ever.

Marvin, 9/5/22

Marvin congratulates itself for staying on its ghastly message for four decades.

Mutts, 9/5/22

Mutts gives us some vaguely topical wordplay from that damn lisping cat.

Pluggers, 9/5/22

Pluggers miss all the action.

Take It from the Tinkersons, 9/5/22

Ted Tinkerson tries to instill in son Tillman some sense of his own crushing despair.

Happy Labor Day, everybody! Pop open a bratwurst for The Comics Curmudgeon!

–Uncle Lumpy