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Archive: Mary Worth

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“Conditions” could also refer to access to alcohol

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Beetle Bailey, 6/30/24

Once again, the throwaway panels across the top of this Sunday strip deepen the narrative considerably. Without them, we just have a story about the General giving up on the pretense of fulfilling his job duties once and for all; with them, we see that, having been denied in his own home, he is chasing his obsessive need to practice putting no matter the professional cost. The throwaway panels also really raise the question of why, given that it’s the middle of summer, he doesn’t simply play golf outside, like a normal person, and so we are left speculate that we’re looking at the world in the wake of some environmental catastrophe that rendered outdoor games like golf unplayable.

Mary Worth, 6/30/24

Loving Dr. Jeff’s face at this big reveal in the bottom left-hand panel. “Wait, so this whole thing is about his ex-girlfriend? The one who dumped him once and for all after he let her think he was dead for a week? That’s … that’s worse than just being bereft over a fish! I can’t put my finger on why but it’s definitely worse!”

Marvin, 6/30/24

Ah, what a nice change of pace, a Marvin without a poop joke! Nope, it’s just about Marvin and a bunch of cats getting into a sandbox-related dispute over who has or has not “put down a deposit” and … oh. Oh, I see. God damn it.

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At sea

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Mary Worth, 6/28/24

I’ve been accused, with perhaps some justification, of being a “coastal elitist”. It’s hard to keep track of what interests do or don’t make you fit that category: my sense of the vibes are that pleasure craft like Dr. Jeff’s are considered “real America” rather than “coastal elitist” coded, despite the fact that they are very expensive and you literally need access to a coastline to enjoy one. This is my way of saying that I don’t actually know much about boats, but I feel like I know enough to say that this one is very big, right? Like in terms of boats owned by retired, mildly successful doctors? Back in the old days Dr. Jeff’s boat was decently sized but it didn’t really loom over you the way this one does. Anyway, Wilbur has experienced not one but two very traumatic large-boat-related incidents, and it would certainly be entertaining if the extremely tentative emotional stability engendered by the prospect of this well-attended fish funeral were shattered by a full-on panic attack.

Alice, 6/28/24

Ever since I’ve gotten on my Alice kick a few months ago, I’ve been sharing with you the “wow, this strip sure is weird!” ones but sparing you the ones that are like “these modern times are new and scary, things were simpler way back then!” So I have to say, this wasn’t the first strip I thought would take the position “Enh, people aren’t very good at most stuff, let’s give the robots a try,” but truly I always appreciate a zig where I expect a zag.

Family Circus, 6/28/24

I understand the Keanes are conservative and don’t think their kids are ready to learn the truth about where babies come from, but I’m telling you, in the absence of solid facts children will come up with some truly wild and frankly very unsettling ideas about how the world works.

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Dumb little guys

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Beetle Bailey, 6/22/24

My wife and I are aficionados of real, non-microwave popcorn, and there are two ways to make this at home: you can do it in a metal pot on your stove, or you can use an electric air popper. What you can’t do is just leave a big metal pot on the end table next to your couch, not even plugged into the wall, and then doze off and expect popcorn to manifest itself there. Maybe this makes me a “comics curmudgeon” of some sort, but I think things in comic strips should more or less look like the real physical objects they’re supposed to represent. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Family Circus, 6/22/24

OK, sorry, I love it when Jeffy is dumb, but when Billy is? It’s not cute or charming at all. He’s the eldest and he should know better. You can tell Big Daddy Keane is thinking it too. Sure, the metric system is part of the UN one world government conspiracy to undermine American sovereignty, but that doesn’t excuse Billy from learning the absolute most basic and introductory fact about it, c’mon man.

Mary Worth, 6/22/24

Are you, Wilbur? Are you better? Are you better, really? Have you dealt with all your emotional stuff about your exes and your romantic failure and whatever it was that caused you to think it was a good idea to let your friends and family think for a week that you were dead? Or are you just experiencing the endorphin rush of getting some attention, just like the attention you hoped to get by showing up back home after letting everyone think for a week that you were dead? It’s the second one, right? You just like attention? You haven’t grappled with your many emotional and personality problems, at all?