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Archive: Mary Worth

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Various foodstuffs

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Tina’s Groove, 6/13/24

Say, it’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the anxious depressive food service workers over at Tina’s Groove. What are they up to? Ah, well, seems like they’re taking rotting meat home, to eat? Ha ha, that’s, uh, that’s something … funny? I guess? She’s eating rotting meat?

Beetle Bailey, 6/13/24

There’s nothing rotten going on over at Beetle Bailey, that’s for sure! Just delicious pie. It’s hard to top a fresh-baked pie, except when it’s a la mode! In that case, you have to top it, with ice cream, because that’s how it works. Anyway, today’s Beetle Bailey, which features these two guys about to dig into some delicious pie, has been brought to you by an arts grant from the American Pie Council®: For The Love Of Pie!

Mary Worth, 6/13/24

I love that Wilbur has not only announced that he’ll be coming by Mary’s apartment, but has also described how he’ll be alerting her to his presence. Only open the door if you ring the doorbell, Mary! If you hear a knock, just aim your gun at the door at your best approximation of center mass and start firing.

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Wednesday quickies

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Blondie, 6/12/24

Hmm, you’re saying that every time Dithers is in a room with Dagwood, his strength is being sapped by powerful Bumstead Radiation? No wonder he’s so cranky whenever they interact! It’s honestly a testament to his generosity that he keeps Dagwood around the office.

Mary Worth, 6/12/24

I know I should be grateful that we were spared a strip where Mary forcibly bathes and grooms Wilbur, but honestly? I’m a real Mary Worth sicko and feel pretty cheated.

Shoe, 6/12/24

Everyone in Shoe seems pretty depressed most of the time, but the Perfesser looks absolutely crushed in that first panel; presumably he’s just outlined the devastating end of his latest love affair. Roz, a good friend, offers a platitude to allow him to pivot to his emotional safe space: insufferably corny wordplay. It makes even less sense than usual, but it’s what he needs right now, and he’s grateful.

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Pretty sure there’s a verse in Leviticus that forbids interring a freshwater fish in the ocean

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Mary Worth, 6/10/24

The thing about disposing of a dead fish is, honestly, that there isn’t a particularly dignified way to do it, and if you’re as emotionally devastated about said fish’s death as Wilbur clearly is, then I suppose it’s hard to get some kind of closure. Maybe this is a best-case scenario! Because I don’t think that chucking a matchbox coffin off the deck of Dr. Jeff’s DieselBurner-2000 superboat is going to be that dignified, actually, and that’s before we even take into account how visibly contemptuous of the proceedings Dr. Jeff will be (you will be able to correctly ascertain his negative attitude from space).

The Phantom, 6/10/24

So the idol theft storyline turned out to be related to the years-long Death Of The Phantom arc, in that it gave an opportunity for the Phantom’s dumb son to reveal that he had a dream that sort of tied into Old Man Mozz’s prophecy in ways I don’t fully follow and am not going to bother trying to rehash for you here. Mostly I am just putting down a marker of hope here that we truly are getting a fresh new storyline, one involving a private spaceflight company known as “Space-Ox,” run by a guy named Elon Musk Ox (he’s just like Elon Musk, but also an ox).

Hi and Lois, 6/10/24

Fine, I’m all in on the new “punchlines are for the old and weak” era of Hi and Lois. Hi is up in the dead of night brooding over the fact that the world has changed since he was young. Are things better, or are they worse? Hard to say, but they’re different, and that exercises his mind in ways his wife would give anything to not hear about. Perfection, no notes, etc.