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Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary begins to look ill — but this time it’s not from seasickness

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Mary Worth, 5/18/21

Look, I don’t ask for much in this life, and maybe I’m being greedy for wanting anything beyond Jeff hearing Mary’s story and reacting with “Whoa, sounds like a real psycho! She was a looker, right?” But I truly want the rest of this week to consist of Jeff describing in graphic detail all the hot crazy girls who stop by Chez Cory and have loud sex with Drew upstairs why Jeff enjoys a hearty bowl of stew down in the kitchen, chuckling softly to himself.

Sam and Silo, 5/18/21

Ah, remember Sam and Silo, the low-stakes strip about two incompetent small-town cops? Well, I regret to inform you that Sam and Silo have launched a violent coup against the town’s legitimate elected government.

Hi and Lois, 5/18/21

Congrats to Hi and Lois for coming up with an extremely wholesome act of badass rebellion for its protagonist to throw in the face of his cruel boss, I guess?

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IT BEGINS

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Mary Worth, 5/15/21

When’s the last time Mary had the mission of actually nipping a relationship in the bud? I don’t know if she ever has! Once, long ago, a lady confessed to Mary she was thinking of pursuing a married old flame and Mary was like “Sure, go for it.” I guess there was the case of Estelle and Arthur Z, but that turned out to be a catfish so I don’t know if it counts. But Dr. Drew is too close to home, literally, in that he’s Mary’s boyfriend’s son who also seems to live with him, and Mary definitely doesn’t want to have to interact with his unpleasant new “friend” when she drops by to deliver an enormous bowl of stew, so it looks like it’s time to cut Ashlee off at the pass! She’s going to work up to the big task ahead by ostracizing whoever’s coffee just got put at the far corner of her tray in panel two there. Sorry for the emotional trauma, dear, but Mary has to get limber!

Family Circus, 5/15/21

Look, Jeffy, the rule of the Keane Kompound is that if you ask whose tiny grave Daddy is digging, the next tiny grave will be for you.

Pluggers, 5/15/21

Physically exhausted? Clinically depressed? Pluggers know you don’t have to choose!

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Eyes empty of thought or moral agency

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Beetle Bailey, 5/11/21

As recently noted, Zero’s one-dimensional characterization has in the past decade or so shifted from “is very stupid” to “is a very stupid farm boy”. I for one am excited about the next stage in his evolution, to “is a very stupid farm boy who is also a deadly accurate sniper, just pumping bullet after bullet into the skulls of his enemies while maintaining that same vacant, aw-shucks grin.”

Hi and Lois, 5/11/21

Not sure why (beyond basic sexism) “humorless scold” is a common attribute assigned to little girls in comics (see also: Dolly Keane, Margaret from Dennis the Menace) but I feel like Dot has been really leaning hard into it lately, to the extent that it stops being annoying and starts being funny again. “You’re a drunk, mom, and your boring friends are all drunks” is a fine addition to Hi and Lois’s exploration of suburbia’s alcohol problem.

Mary Worth, 5/11/21

I know everything about Ashlee has been a forest of red flags so far, but today she appears to be about to eat a slice of pizza sideways, clear evidence of utter madness. She needs to be locked up in that plastic prison where they put Magneto in the first X-Men movie and studied by scientists to see what makes her tick.