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Mary Worth, 1/14/19

Why, what’s this? It seems that the case of the smitten student just got a little more complex. If I’m interpreting that thought balloon correctly, Jannie isn’t overcome by lust for Professor Cameron at all, but is rather just buttering him up for her own inscrutable purposes. Is she planning on kidnapping him for ransom? On stealing his organs? On … getting a better grade than her work alone would merit, exactly as Toby suspected all along? Ha ha, isn’t everyone going to feel silly when that turns out to be the case! Anyway, this dude is probably her actual boyfriend. You can tell he’s more desirable to a young woman than Ian, because he knows about hip new bands like the Rolling Stones.

Gil Thorp, 1/14/19

Oh, man, this Gil Thorp storyline appears to be about how the tyranny of student confidentiality laws are shackling honest adults who need the right to humiliate children in public, to protect their reputation, and I for one am I here for it! In the meantime, please enjoy Kaz aggressively pointing at Gil to drive home his “point” that B/Robby Howry’s youthful transgressions are fair game in this PR battle.

Pluggers, 1/14/19

Obviously the joke here is that pluggers have grandchildren who don’t have a firm grip on typical human lifespans and/or the dates of major historic events, but I’m choosing to believe that this panel takes place after a future bloody civil war in which pluggers were on the losing side. They believed they’d have an inherent advantage over the big-city types, but it quickly became clear that their ramshackle automobiles and sedentary lifestyles were not the military assets they assumed them to be.

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Mary Worth, 1/13/19

Toby and Ian … a study in contrasts. Toby is paralyzed with fear that her husband might be succumbing to the charms of a younger woman, and is so insecure she’s afraid to even bring the subject up because she thinks it’ll make her look weak. Ian, meanwhile, is all like, “Damn, this is some good fish! Toby sure fried the hell out of this fish. She seems lost in thought tonight, so I guess I can just go ahead and eat it with my hands.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/13/19

OK, fine, Brayden isn’t turning out to be a little brat at all, but rather a weird tiny adult like pre-amnesia Sarah, though I will treasure the sentence “I’m sure it’ll be smooth sailing from here on, Brayden.” But anyway, now it’s clear that Rex and Brayden are gonna be on a team together against Loud-Shirted Drunken Lout! This flight’s just getting started and I’ll bet there’s plenty of drunken loutery in store!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 1/13/19

OK, fine, they’re in Germany. But why is it so important to know what country they’re in? Well, look at the pigs in the pen, the birds, the snake, the rabbits — unclothed, non bipedal, with dull, lifeless eyes. Here is one place, even after the animapocalypse, where animals are still animals. And are people still people? Sly and Max are right to be afraid.

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Mark Trail, 1/11/19

Oh, right, the human traffickers! We all remember the human traffickers, right? The ones … Mark encountered … and can remember instantly … shoot, you guys I don’t remember the human traffickers at all. Were they … were they part of this cave adventure? Anyway, you’d think Mark would be proud of these guys for working their way down the Ladder of Evil and only threatening cultural patrimony rather than live human beings, but in his Manichaean worldview, there are good people (who don’t get punched) and bad people (who do). At any rate, please enjoy Mark swelling up in righteous anger as he lays down the punchery, making every bit of his rippling physique extremely visible through is formerly loose-fitting shirt and jeans.

Mary Worth, 1/11/19

Ha ha, Mary is transparently not wondering about her friends at all, but is instead enjoying dinner alone and a book from the steamy Outlander series, presumably because she decided to stop thinking about Ian and instead seek out a story about a Scot who is an actually plausible object of erotic desire.