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Mary Worth, 5/26/24

Jesus, Wilbur, did you ever think that Willa has probably even more reason to mourn than you do, and you’ve never tried to reach out to her so that the two of your could support one another? No, instead you’ve turned your grief into a narcissistic wallow, and have further alienated your remaining fish by making it clear that Stellan was your favorite.

Meanwhile, in the final panel Mary has revealed how long this has been going on, and I have to say that “several weeks” is one of the less amusing options. Like, it would’ve been funny if we found out that Wilbur had been living in isolation and increasing squalor for a year, and very funny if we found out he had been living in isolation and increasing squalor for six hours.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/26/24

Damn, with all this talk of sacrifice, I assumed Hagar was going to offer a fine stallion or heifer up to the gods of the Norse pantheon to propitiate them for safety on his next raid. But with a larder full of cuisine brought back from Italy and the mysterious lands south of Vinland, I guess he’s a little soft now to go in for the old ways.

Hi and Lois, 5/26/24

An underrated aspect of the Hi and Lois mythos is that Hi has one friend, who is his nextdoor neighbor and also his coworker, and he really doesn’t like him very much.

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Pardon My Planet, 5/22/24

As a hopeless Coke Zero addict, I of course respect any monument to those who fought and died in the name of delicious soda pop. But why is this monument out in the middle of the countryside, rather than gracing one of our great cities? At first, I was upset, but now I see that patriotic Americans are willing to hike great distances to see it in all its majesty, which makes it much more meaningful, I think.

Hi and Lois, 5/22/24

As no punchline His and Loises go, this one is pretty good! “It’s fun to rip” is a nice catchphrase for a baby — it is indeed fun to rip, for kids and adults alike. I also enjoy Chip telling his dad, who is almost certainly a Millennial, that he needs to “go digital” to keep up with the times.

Mary Worth, 5/22/24

Yeah, yeah, Wilbur is falling further and further into despair, but are you telling me that some plebeian Doordasher was allowed through Charterstone’s walled perimeter and is now wandering freely through the grounds and hallways without being accompanied by a resident at all times? Wilbur’s going to be hearing about this from Mary, just like he’s going to be hearing about the condo association bylaws’ surprisingly explicit rules about corpse disposal.

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Blondie, 5/21/24

The implication here is that Dagwood has been home for hours while letting his latest workplace blunder marinate in his mind, only having the nerve to bring it up at the last possible moment. “What now?” says Blondie, who probably assumed that she had finished up all her emotional labor duties for the evening.

Dustin, 5/21/24

You know my contempt for the writing and characters in Dustin is boundless, but generally speaking, I think the art is decent. Like, even seeing Dustin’s dad’s boss from behind, I think the final panel here nicely captures a facial expression that says “Wow, I forgot what an asshole this guy is, hopefully he gets this all out of his system before our clients show up.”

Mary Worth, 5/21/24

Oh no, we’ve reached the point in the Mary Worth Plot Cycle where it becomes clear that the outrageous and silly plot prediction I made a few days ago (“Ha ha, what if Wilbur eats that fish“) might come true in a much, much grimmer fashion (“Oh no, Wilbur put his dead fish next to the ‘Phish food’ and all his frozen dinners, what if, blinded by grief and alcohol, he eats that fish”). It’s a real burden being cursed with the gift of prophecy!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/21/24

The implication here is that, despite the obviously impoverished circumstances of their household and community, young Jughaid and Tater have to yet experience a crisis in which scavenged local flora and fauna make their way into the Smif family skillet. We call that a Hootin’ Holler right of passage, kids, better get used to it!