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Mary Worth, 3/29/24

Whoops, it turns out Dawn doesn’t so much crave maternal affection as she craves not seeing her terrible drippy ex and new girlfriend he picked up when she was injured and emotionally vulnerable in the hospital where he works. I know I’m reading a lot into a single image, but I’m really counting on Dawn’s mom to be as icily cruel to her about her pathetic love life as possible once she gets wind of the details

Hi and Lois, 3/29/24

Ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny if a baby used contemporary slang? And if the sun vanished, leaving us to freeze to death in a world of eternal darkness?

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Gil Thorp, 3/28/24

The Milford Mudlarks: the team whose players trust one another so much that they just keep passing the ball back and forth, indefinitely. Is this their key to victory? Well, they never shoot, so they never score, so no, it isn’t. But the trust! Think about the trust!

Judge Parker, 3/28/24

I’ve been commenting on Judge Parker’s April for nearly two decades, and I guess thanks to the magic of comic book time she’s probably a Millennial at this point, right? As evidenced by her steadfast refusal to answer her phone? We can tell she’s not a Zoomer because she’s at least contemplating listening to any potential voicemail the caller might leave. Anyway, her daughter, a representative of Generation … Alpha? I guess this is what we’re calling them? As a placeholder, maybe? … demonstrates that each generation reacts against the excesses of their parents. When she’s old enough to have her own phone, she’s going to answer it, by God.

Mary Worth, 3/28/24

Dawn is — and I mean this in the kindest possible way — a lot. So I can’t even imagine what her mother, who apparently cut her out of her life for years, is going to think when she shows up and says “Good news, mom! I dropped out of college so I can spend the next year focusing on nothing but the mother-daughter time I crave!” I mean, I can imagine what she’s going to think, actually, which is why I remain pretty excited about this storyline.

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Mary Worth, 3/27/24

God bless Mary Worth for sticking to its strengths, which is putting ordinary people into compelling situations and having them say things that are sort of like something an actual human would say, but not really — not, like, dramatically off, but, you know, off enough. I know that when I’m feeling down for the next few months, I’m going to be able to cheer myself up my thinking about an actual 20-year-old person announcing “She’s fine! She had a change of heart about cutting me out of her life, and wants to reconnect with me … [extremely dramatic pause] … HER ONLY CHILD!”

Dick Tracy, 3/27/24

Look, I may not be an expert in Little Orphan Annie lore, but I did imprint on Carol Burnett as Miss Hannigan like a baby duck at an early age, so “Ms. Asthma” here had better be already trying to figure out how to profit from this infant’s labor or I’m going to be very upset.

Shoe, 3/27/24

So I guess Skyler’s just going to start telling adults about his grim home life in the hopes that someone will finally call child protective services?

Hi and Lois, 3/27/24

I’m really enjoying Hi and Lois’s facial expressions here. “Well,” they’re thinking, “on the bright side we don’t have to worry about saving up for college for this one.”