Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 12/10/11

Just think about what a rabbit hole of meta this strip is. Yes, it features a comic strip character complaining that “life already feels like too much of a comic strip”; but, when you think about it, when most people think about comic strips, they think about ones that have jokes and punchlines and such — not Mary Worth, in other words. Who would be the sort of person who would be more likely to use “comic strip” as a shorthand for soap opera strips, in which pointless people slowly live through plots that are simultaneously bland and ridiculous? Mary Worth, that’s who! Wheels within wheels, people.

Herb and Jamaal, 12/10/11

When I read this comic, I snorted dismissively and said “Please, ‘that singer with the high-octave voice,’ why don’t they just say–” but then I realized that I don’t really know who in the current pop cultural landscape “that singer with the high-octave voice” would be. Apparently this is what it feels like to enter the Herb and Jamaal audience demographic. It doesn’t feel good, for the record.

Marmaduke, 12/10/11

Marmaduke’s owner manages to hand his last-ever paycheck over to his wife as Marmaduke starts to tear through his flesh and gnaw on his tasty bones.

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Side note: here is a thing I meant to pass on from faithful reader ChattyGenes: some comics collections about the aftermath of the tsunami and nuclear accidents in Japan. You should read them if you are interested in these subjects!

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Mark Trail, 12/8/11

Hi everyone! You’ve probably been wondering what’s happening in Mark Trail. WOLVES! WOLVES! is what’s happening. Panel two is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen in this strip. Between Kelly’s huge eyes and flapping lapels and WOLVES!, I think I might even love it unironically. The fact that it’s heralding an epic bear vs. wolfpack fight is just icing on the cake.

Beetle Bailey, 12/8/11

Maybe Kelly Welly should have wandered into a gentler valley, like this one, full of animals that are the product of “scientists” doing “research,” as imagined by someone who isn’t really clear on what research entails or what scientists do or what animals look like. Ha ha, that one bird sure is boozing it up! That seems significant.

Mary Worth, 12/8/11

Meanwhile, in Mary Worth, this brutish ginger kidnapper-thug is going to perpetrate the most unspeakable crime anyone could imagine: he’s going to steal the sweater that Mary left at the diner. THE WOMAN ALREADY HAD HER PURSE STOLEN! HASN’T SHE SUFFERED ENOUGH???

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Dennis the Menace, 12/6/11

Dennis is bad at eating, inevitably ending up covered with half-masticated food, misaimed condiments, and slobber.

Mary Worth, 12/6/11

Mary has now completely forgotten about the missing Emily Smith, and has ironically become fixated on the idea that she might be losing her memory instead.

Six Chix, 12/6/11

Due to her family’s poverty, this little girl isn’t going to college, and indeed will probably die of malnutrition long before she has a chance to graduate from high school.

Pluggers, 12/6/11

Pluggers like to swing with other couples from their church.