Archive: Mary Worth

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Crock, 4/25/09

Some might call it inconsistent, but I like my terrible comic strips to keep track of and abide by their ossified, humorless conventions rather than trying to branch out into new comedic structures. Take, for instance, the frequent “Crock talks to his mother on the phone” trope in Crock. Usually we only hear our sinister commandant’s side of the conversation, with his mother’s replies relayed in indirect speech to whatever hapless forgettable character happens to have wandered into the panel. Today is the first time that I can remember actually seeing a word balloon (one so large that Crock has to hold the phone a good foot from his ear) emerging from Crock’s phone. Of course, the punchline is a hilarious reference to terrible institutional food causing an old woman to defecate uncontrollably, so I think we can provide the structural flexibility necessary to allow such a gem to be delivered.

Mary Worth, 4/25/09

“That’s right, Covice! Your nationwide string of broken hearts ends here, thanks the efforts of Bruno and Flaxhair, FraudCops! With the rust-colored jacket of justice and the minty blazer of retribution, they travel the nation, looking for scamsters with tell-tale pencil mustaches to put in the slammer. Sorry we took as long to catch up with him as we did, young lady; you didn’t do anything foolish like, say, give him an enormous sum of money, did you? Because you can pretty much kiss it goodbye if you did.”

Shoe, 4/25/09

The obvious punchline here is actually “Your body has a lot of hair.” I’d like to believe that the form actually used was chosen because it’s mildly funnier, but it may just be that someone finally remembered, apparently between the first and second panels, that the characters in Shoe are birds and thus have no hair at all.

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Mary Worth, (panels), 4/19/09

OK, we already knew Mary Worth speech balloons could have thoughts. But who knew those thoughts could themselves have other thoughts? Are they self-aware? Do they wake each morning drenched in sweat at the horror that they are second-order thought balloons in Mary Worth, and moan in heartsick agony for lack of a pin? And, y’know, fingers?

Meanwhile . . . it looks like Ted has come to his own stark realization — and his thought balloons are shouting “Get the hell outta Dodge”, all the way down.

Pack, Ted, pack! Pack like you’ve never packed before!

Rex Morgan, M.D. (panels), 4/19/09

To understand the dysfunctional dynamics of the Morgans, you’ve got to look past appearances. Despite her sippy cup and daisy-themed eyewear and apparel, Sarah has accepted the role of “adult” in the family, even though Rex still wears the pants. At least for the moment.

Run, Willie, run!

Slylock Fox (panel), 4/19/09

Psst . . . Cassandra — call him “Queenie”!

Judge Parker, 4/19/09

Finally, I must post in its full glory this epochal Judge Parker featuring Randy’s first day on the bench. Judge Randy breezed straight past Judge Sparky and Judge Donny into “Courtroom #1” — but the real decisions are made out back when the pals get together in their keen treehouse “Judge Club.” It’s exclusive — like the sign says, “No Girlz Alowd!” And that suits Randy just fine.


OK, that’s it for me! Josh gets home from vacation late Sunday, and maybe probably could get around to posting again sometime Monday or hey what was that noise my my look at the time oooh shiny!

I had a fun week — thanks!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Gil Thorp, 4/17/09

One of the many charms of Gil Thorp is its punctilious attention to the names of players, teams, and incidental characters whom we may never see again and will certainly never care about! Rich, here, for example, or WHCC, the fictitious one-step-above-public-access Milford TV station (and not the actual Bloomington, IN country FM radio station). But “Spartans” seems a little off for the St. Mark’s team — shouldn’t it be the “Lions” or the “Friars” or something? Hey, the “Notaries” would be a great name for a ball team!

Shoe, 4/17/09

Shoe ups the ante on “that is not how birds work” humor.

Beetle Bailey, 4/17/09

When does anvil season start? Soon, right? Please?

Mary Worth, 4/17/09

“That’s not love — that’s not even coherent.” But hey, do you suppose Doc Jeff ran a background check on his beloved Mary? And if so, what dark mysteries did he uncover?

Judge Parker, 4/17/09

I basically got nuthin’ here — a little more exposition on the The Fabulous Ledge-Danube/Rasmussen-Akermans to run out the clock on a slow week, tempered as always by Eduardo Barreto’s handsome draftsmanship. But thanks in no small part to determined rabble-rousing by faithful reader Dave and others, and a rousing response by us cookie-clearin’ survey-stuffin’ rabble, Judge Parker has been reinstated by The Washington Post. Way to go!

— Uncle Lumpy