Archive: Mary Worth

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Apartment 3-G, 8/27/06

And New York loves you, Gina. Except for the part of New York that lives in your apartment building, whom you insist on insulting. Kids these days! With their hairy shirts and inability to filter their ids and whatnot. Still, we all should grateful for Gina, because her inappropriate blabbermouthery generated a rare triple head-bobble in panel four, though if Tommie isn’t secretly enjoying this display, I’ll eat Margo’s hat. Margo, meanwhile, gives us one moment of wounded vulnerability in panel five before launching a patented icy stare at the Professor in the final panel. Gina had better be taking notes right now.

Oh, and what the hell is going on with the word “Frida” randomly appearing on Tommie’s face in the first panel? Creepy. As. Hell. My guess: it’s a prison tattoo of the name of her girlfriend, who’s still on the “inside.” Watch out, Ted: she’s spoken for!

Judge Parker, 8/27/06

I don’t mean to harsh on the aesthetic endeavors of a pair of overpampered teenage girls, but I find Raju’s haircut, while an improvement over his old greaseball look, to be insufficiently hilarious. Clearly, we need to turn to a professional to get him Queer Eyed. Say, does Randy Parker have some spare time? I hear he’s not the marrying kind. If you know what I mean. And I think you do. No, not going to get married any time soon. No, sir.

Judge Parker seems to be jealous of Apartment 3-G’s newfound ability to keep several plot balls in the air at once, as it’s introducing yet another story thread: the case of the missing horse feed! I’m sure it will be riveting.

Mary Worth, 8/27/06

“Actually, it may be more than a plan, it may be a harebrained scheme!” If Toby’s plan involves Mary’s feminine wiles, a woodchipper, and a gross of industrial-strength Hefty bags, I for one will be a happy guy. Just don’t look directly at her shirt, or you’ll get seasick.

Marvin, 8/27/06

Aaaaand here come the Chinese child labor jokes.

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Luann, 8/24/06

As noted, “couples retreat” was clearly code for “swinger’s convention”; thus, “Kamp Kouple,” which is what’s emblazoned on Mr. and Mrs. DeGroot’s t-shirts, is clearly code for “Nondescript airport hotel where we rented all the rooms for a week and paid the staff extra to look the other way while we engage in random ‘kouplings.'”

While I have too much dignity to offer “Kamp Kouple” t-shirts, thanks to the amazing graphics skills of faithful reader mon-ma-tron, you’ll be able to celebrate this year’s hottest pop culture phenomenon in garment form in short order:

I’ll make these shirts on the CafePress store when I return to Baltimore next week … but until then, this should whet your ironic-logo appetite!

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Presented unedited for your edification:

Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2006 21:59:11 -0700 [08/22/2006 11:59:11 PM CDT]
From: Aldo Kelrast
To: blogfrontp @jfruh.com
Subject: link to mp3 by Aldo Kelrast the singer-songwriter

Hello Comics Curmudgeon,

This is Aldo Kelrast. I realize you’re on vacation, but an easy meta-post would be to link to my website, on which I’ve posted an mp3 of a song I wrote to my dear Mary Worth.

http://www.geocities.com/aldokelrast/

If you don’t publicize my beautiful webpage on your site, I might have to follow you around on your vacation, constantly popping up unexpectedly, insisting that you link to my song, until finally you scream “AAUGH!”

Cordially yours,
-Aldo

Update: Um, I think we overwhelmed his little Geocities site. Just like Mary overwhelmed his little heart.