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Archive: Mary Worth

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Hour of the Bewilburbeast

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/19/23

You probably don’t remember (because why would you, remembering inane Rex Morgan plots for you is my job, literally), but way back in early 2020, roots country legend Truck Tyler caught some kind of persistent respiratory virus before it was cool, and was also sleeping in his car, so Buck arranged for a free room in a depressing, half-empty motel to serve as a makeshift isolation ward, which Truck used as inspiration for a new song that became a viral hit on, let’s say … TikTok? … which I assume means that lots of teens are now LARPing as depressed old roots country singers down at the Glenwood Motel these days. Truck still has a standing offer of a free room there are a result, in case this nice diner waitress wants to have sex in the most depressing place she’s ever had sex in her life.

Family Circus, 2/19/23

I can think of few acts more humiliating than calling your wife from inside your car to have her stop your children from throwing snowballs at you. Yet Big Daddy Keane has no shame about it! Look at him grinning smugly in panel three here. “This is a great use case of a cellular telephone!” he’s thinking to himself. The man deserves what he’s about to get.

Mary Worth, 2/19/23

Oh hey by the way Estelle is being tormented by visions of Wilbur in animal form while she tries to sleep, if you were wondering! Will murdering him finally make the nightmare images go away? Probably not, but I for one am willing for her to take that chance.

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That bull sure has strong feelings about laziness (?)

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Slylock Fox, 2/17/23

From years of reading Slylock Fox together, we’ve come to understand that the world it depicts is one where the animals rose up against humans, exterminated most of them, and then went on to recreate human society the best they could, living in our cities, establishing political, legal, and economic structures that mimic our own, and so on. There’s been less attention spent on the animals’ cultural production, but here too we must assume that they’re following a human template, publishing animal-themed comics in animal-focused newspapers with punchlines that make animals laugh and make the few remaining humans go “Huh. Huh. Huh?”

Family Circus, 2/17/23

Look, Keane parents, you’ve lived with these children for several years now, and the fact that you’ve chosen to decorate your house with an endless expanse of pure white wall-to-wall carpet without regard for the very obvious consequences is entirely on you.

Mary Worth, 2/17/23

TIRED: Estelle keeps running into her ex, Wilbur, who she finds annoying
WIRED: Estelle, having succumbed to Wilburmadness, hallucinates her ex wherever she goes

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Robust oxy competition is good for consumers, honestly

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Mary Worth, 2/16/23

Look, I’m not going to say I’m done with Wilbur, like Estelle and Iris justifiably are, but I am a little sick of his shit, and feel like Mary Worth readers could use a rest from him for a while. That said, I do think today’s strip is a kind of fun meta-commentary, like “Oh, did you you think you had finally achieved inner peace, NOPE, SORRY WILBUR”

Hagar the Horrible, 2/16/23

We all remember the Ice Bucket Challenge … now get ready for the Ice Bucket Fetish!

Judge Parker, 2/16/23

So wait, you’re telling me that Cavelton had an oxy ring run by drug dealers, and another one run by the cops, and another one run by a judge? Sure explains why everyone has been so loopy around here.