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Your COTW coming momentarily, but why not enjoy this latest installment in the increasingly hilarious Protectors Of The Earth series?

And now, this week’s top comment:

Re: recent 9CL plot developments: “And all this has transpired over a mere handful of months. If the whirlwind pace seems somewhat dizzying, you may want to retreat to the less aggressively paced Judge Parker for a while. The presence of observable chins may at first be startling, but you will adapt.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

And the runners up!

“‘I love skating, no matter what is thrown my way.’ Well, toots, bet you didn’t count on fielding a stout matron with a firm conviction that there’s something wrong with you that ONLY SHE CAN FIX, did you?” –trey le parc

“WHEN MARGO SPEAKS YOU WILL SALUTE” –Nimrod Gently

“I believe ‘Don’t let him get away!’ is simply the one lazy cop’s suggestion to the other lazy cop. Incredibly, sloth and incompetence are actually working in Peter Parker’s favor for a change.” –Joe Blevins

“Wow! Margo went from Esmeralda to Quasimodo in three panels flat! That must be some kind of record.” –sak

“I am absolutely fascinated by the Plugger TV show. Is it a private eye trick-or-treating in Giza? Because if that’s what being a plugger means, I’m all in.” –150

“All comics tend toward a state of maximum entropy. Some, like Judge Parker, Apartment 3G, and Pluggers/Shoe, merely submit. Others, like Dick Tracy, strike out in a frenzy of madness and rage against the gathering dark.” –Uncle Lumpy

“How do those guys normally chain raccoons to logs? Is it a complicated system of dowels? Do they superglue the chains to their heads? Drill a hole through the raccoons’ necks? I mean, it’ll be a little more cost-effective to chain him to a log, with his own collar and all, but it’s just one step less than what they’d have to do otherwise, right? Lazy, lazy raccoon-chaining bastards.” –Patrick

“Nightmarish imagery associated with youth athletics? Ridiculous! Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a disembodied hand walking around the set of Gil Thorp that I have to bludgeon to death.” –Black Drazon

On the Gary-Dr. Kelly discussion: “I bet he’s more like ‘Stay away from my girl.’ And the doc is like ‘Your girl? I’m gay and I thought she was a dude. The name “Tommy” threw me. Sorry. My bad.'” –Hogenmogen

“What ARE they talking about? ‘Listen, Dr. Kelly, I’m…’ ‘No, I’m Gary, YOU’RE Dr. Kelly.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Yes, you’re wearing scrubs — you’re the one more likely to be a doctor.’ ‘But you’re wearing glasses.’ ‘Yes, that makes me a computer guy.’ ‘Okay — now what are we talking about?’ ‘Tommie.’ ‘Who’s he? The guy in Tibet? The dead druggie?’ ‘No, it’s a she … we’re competing over her.’ ‘Oh, is that the bitchy one? The dumb blonde?’ ‘Sigh…’ –Lake Eerie Log Chains

“Here, the characters helpfully demonstrate what is known as a ‘Lost Forest embrace.’ It consists of standing several feet apart with your arms extended without making actual physical contact.” –Joe Blevins

“Dr. Kelly is finally telling Gary about the ‘facts of life’, and Gary looks stunned.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

“If there was ever an event called ‘Smirkstock’, that’s what it would look like.” –Red Greenback

“It’s wrong! Frank, you did it all wrong! You were too direct. Next time, smile and say something like this: ‘It’s okay, dear, all that time and money spent training was more than worth it; as long as you’re happy finishing in second place, I’m happy.’ It will devastate her for years.” –late2theparty

“That’s not sex in 9CL. That’s just the most incompetent handjob ever. Not that I blame Edda, as I wouldn’t want to touch Amos down there either.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Maybe THAT train is just what I need! The train that’s flying past me at full speed and is about a dozen yards away! By the time I reach it, I could probably use the wheels of the caboose to cut off my hands!” –survivor

“Maybe we’ll be treated to a week in which Brad and TJ stand at an intersection with a can to raise money for Rotary International. It can be mildly drizzly, and most people can awkwardly roll up their windows as they approach.” –Lettuce

“Forget playing with a bad heart! The ’Czak is openly defying the laws of gravity in order to bring the Most Homoerotic Drinking Fountain Posture trophy back to Milford after a five-year absence.” –DaveyK

As the seasons change, the tips in my tip jar continue! And our advertisers, as always, are ready to help rake up:

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• Josh teams up with MST3K alums! Enjoy MST3K-style ribbing of the weepiest Spider-Man ever — with Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and your very own Comics Curmudgeon!

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Thanks to faithful reader Mark for this all-too-appropriate image!

Today is election day in the United States, and instead of attempting to quell the inevitable spirited discussions that will spin off into spittle-inducing rage, I’ve provided this post, on which you are all welcome to go at it. Feel free to boast, moan, commiserate, celebrate, argue, complain, whine defensively, or write learned, level-headed essays about why your political opponents should be rounded up and put into camps. And remember, no matter how bad you thought this year’s election was, at least it didn’t involve Spider-Man.

And if you want to discuss, you know, comics, you should probably just do so over here.

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No fuss, no muss, just the best of the comments:

“Spidey, relaxed on valium, awaits his colonoscopy. I’ve been there.” –Rusty

And the runners-up!

“Whatever happened to Mrs. Reeky Rat? Did she leave him all alone after one of his hateful swipes at her during one of his meth binges? Does this explain why Reeky is inexplicably wearing a magenta wig? Is it his own hair, or is it made from the hair of the former Mrs. Reeky Rat, as some bizarre way of remembering the only beautiful thing left in his sorry existence. Slylock really should have focused on this disturbing development, instead of fucking bunnies with no toes.” –misskittyfantastico

“Margo’s face in the third panel gives off the impression that she’s attempting to find a way to market these inner demons and make a good profit. Sadly, because this is A3G, the plot will either take two months or be mentioned exuberantly and then never brought up again.” –Aitherion

“Whether Margo is indignant, annoyed, or massively enraged, her hair always stays perfectly in place. Probably it’s afraid of her.” –Poteet

“Grief has many faces. Men in A3G have but one.” –Hogenmogen

“This [Marmaduke] panel raises an interesting question: Can dogs be put on the National Sex Offender Registry?” –Gold-Digging Nanny

“Why is Lois so happy? Is she drowning Ditto in the sink?” –lorne

“Crankshaft, original edition. Panel one: ‘There goes the geese flying south.’ Panel two: ‘My toxic nerve gas must already be pouring out of the sewers.'” –the crock

“So, as much as I can’t get behind the stilted txt spk of the gore ’em-bore ’em robots in DT, could they at least be comprehensibly inane? ‘Cld B Trbl?’ You take out the vowels, but leave in the silent consonants? This is why I hate artificial life and teenagers.” –Sissyphus

“Agh! Sound! My only weakness!” –Isaac

“At least I can relate to Spider-Man in this strip. Not only do I hate clock alarms as well, but if someone fired a clock-shaped gun at me, my first thought would not be the standard, ‘Oh sh*t, he’s shooting at me!’ but the more baffled ‘He fired a clock-shaped gun at me!’ then pause, looooong pause, ‘What an absolute douchebag.’” –teddytoad

“There was a previous Pluggers installment with the caption ‘Plugger happy hour’ showing a dog-man passed out on the couch with a book on his chest, so I imagine that Brookins wrote this one in response to a flood of letters from pluggers angry about the suggestion that they enjoy reading.” –Nyborg

“That perm on Ditto’s friend gets bigger in every panel. If this were a Sunday strip, the final panel would be nothing but hair.” –Jordan

“Wait … Tommie’s dating a lesbian Episcopal minister? When did this happen?” –jayjaybear

“Also, the police will never think of unmasking Spider-Man. Never. Why would they? They already know who he is: he’s Spider-Man. Duh.” –zadig

Also! So many came through swimmingly and hilariously in response to my demand for Taft/T. Roosevelt slash fiction. Picking a top one was deadly difficult; I am partial to this offering from Idols of Mud, mainly because he dared to imagine a Taft/Roosevelt/Wilson three-way in the aftermath of the hotly contested 1912 election.

Though the Teddy Roosevelt and Taft disagreed on many issues, I think it’s clear that they would think those who put some cash in my tip jar are “bully”! And Wilson’s Fourteen Points are strongly backed by all of our advertisers:

• Doritos crash the Superbowl: It’s time to take down the ad pros with a commercial written, directed, and produced by you. Enter Doritos Crash The Super Bowl for a chance at $1,000,000!
• Josh teams up with MST3K alums! Enjoy MST3K-style ribbing of the weepiest Spider-Man ever — with Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and your very own Comics Curmudgeon!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.