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I know, it’s been ages since I took any time off from this site, so you’re obviously getting sick of me, am I right? Well, you are about to get your thrice-annual dose of the comic stylings of pinch-hitter and fellow commentor Uncle Lumpy! Give him a warm welcome for the remainder of the week; I’ll be back a week from today, 10/6.

But I will leave you with my own pics for the week’s top comments! Here is your lovely comment of the week:

“Margo is on her way to the morgue! Kind of like a visit to Disneyworld for most people.” –Orange Doorhinge

And the runners-up:

“When selecting his secret base, I’m sure the skull motif on the outside was appealing, but what must have really closed the deal for the Phantom was the built-in shelving.” –Bobdog

“Yes! Diet has really come through this time! Brilliant! Genius! No criminal is safe — except, of course, if he climbs a flight of steps.” –Hogenmogen

“Margo and Tommie won’t have the heart to tell Lu Ann her boyfriend was just horribly murdered by a deranged drug addict. They’ll just tell her that he went to live on a nice farm in Nebraska, where he can chase squirrels all day long.” –Perky Bird

“Terry the security expert’s look of bewilderment, pity, and resignation betrays her true thoughts: ‘Oh Toby … Toby Toby Toby. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. You’ll have to be put down.'” –Bribaby

“I fear we are in danger of forgetting The First Law of A3G Plot Dynamics: ‘Objects at rest tend to remain at rest. Objects that appear to be in motion are, in fact, at rest.'” –boojum

“So this ‘Aria’ temptress is just engaging Ted in platonic banter, right? She must realize that Ted’s married, right? I mean, his wedding band must look absolutely enormous on that slender, girl-gymnast-sized hand of his.” –Paperback Rifler

“Alan is not dead. The cops downtown want to know just like the rest of us — once and for all — is this one Alan or Eric? They are going to taser him and then let Margo search his body for distinguishing marks. After that they can tag him and release him back into the mild.” –Mel

“Isn’t that unnamed white dude in Mark Trail really wearing an ‘ironic moustache’? It’s too 1970s Burt Reynolds to be taken seriously. If so, Mark will punch him out just on principle. ‘Damn hipsters!'” –Kevin Moore

“The hand belongs to Spiderman. He’s presumably vacated his own strip due to lack of interest, and is scouting for a new locale. Given his NYC upbringing, it’s quite possible he seeks out a more rural setting. The only thing he hasn’t thought through is the lack of tall buildings, so expect to see Milford’s FD rescuing a distraught Spiderman from the stately oaks lining Main Street.” –trey le parc

“‘The right people on our side’ obviously refers to one of the many identical bunches of fat hillbillies in overalls (one of whom is bald).” –He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus

“I wish they’d change ‘The Sack Master’s’ jersey number to 69. After all, barely a strip goes by without mention of his height. Is that his only distinguishing characteristic? I’m more alarmed by his freakish hands and his cold, dead eyes.” –JH Pants

“I don’t follow Gil Thorp enough to keep track of all the characters, twists or turns, but to whomever that is in the centre of panel three: Dear Podperson, your mask is peeling. Signed, Disturbed.” –Black Drazon

“The death of Alan means high art prices for Margo, chastity for Lu Ann, and more Sunday morning waffles for Tommie. Mmm … waffles.” –Dingo

“I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who assumed that the buzzing was emanating from some Lovecraftian horror from beyond time summoned by Alan’s artwork. Such horrors can warp the very fabric of the universe, creating geometrical configurations that chill the soul with their stark unreality, such as that of Lu Ann’s breasts in the final panel.” –Obstreperous B

“The big tough dog that Snert is not like is about to swallow Hagar whole. There’s some poetic justice there. Well … perhaps ‘poetic’ is the wrong word.” –Angry Kem

“Yes, dear. It’s serious. Alan isn’t in the hospital, Lu Ann. Margo didn’t provide him with insurance, so we tossed his shot-up junkie ass into an alley a few blocks away. You can visit him there if you like.” –Harold

Let me give a huge thank you to those who put money in my tip jar! And an extra huzzah to our advertisers:

• Josh teams up with MST3K alums! Enjoy MST3K-style ribbing of the weepiest Spider-Man ever — with Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and your very own Comics Curmudgeon!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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So, many moons ago there was a rash of spam on the Comics Curmudgeon forum that got so bad that I eventually had to turn off automatic account creation altogether, and just have folks email me when they want an account set up. Since generally I only get a few such requests a week, this wasn’t a big problem.

However, it appears that for the past month or more, all those requests have been going straight into my spam folder. As Cathy would say: Ack! So, if you sent me a request to sign up for the forum and never heard back, please email me at bio@jfruh.com and I’ll get you set up in the next few days. Be sure to include the username you want to use in your email.

(Please note that you do NOT need an account to post comments on entries in the main blog — this is strictly for the forums site.)

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I don’t have the usual pleas for you to buy crap pre-COTW this week, so we’ll get to the top comment after only some quick links:

• Faithful reader Angry Kem has set up a spiffy comics blog called Japes For Owre Tymes, in which she takes on the too long neglected task of translating the dialog in modern-day comic strips into Middle English.
• And faithful reader Short (I think? Let me know if I mangled your nickname) points out that God has punished the Kalamazoo Kings for their Elmer-hiring ways.

Oh, and finally, for those of you who use the Facebook, did you know that there is a Readers of the Comics Curmudgeon Facebook Group? Well, there is! Feel free to join it and do, uh, whatever it is one does with such things.

And now, without further ado, here’s the comment of the week!

“I was initially inclined to regard Toby’s reply of ‘Not excessively’ to Terry’s inquiry as to whether she used her computer much as one of the most ineffably unnatural and cryptic responses imaginable, but on second thought I guess she could’ve said ‘Twelve,’ ‘Sure they will,’ or ‘I LOVE cornflakes!'” –Violet

And the runners-up!

“My theory is that Jones has been selling him smarties or some other sugar pill. This explains why Alan never seems bedraggled or mussed, why there are no other drug dealers while Jones is away and why Alan’s competence level seems unchanged. The sugar crashes also explain why he sleeps at odd hours. Jones probably thinks this is a clever way to get some very green dough without actually harming Alan, but he will be filled with regret when Alan finally slides into adult onset diabetes.” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“Kids, this is what smoking crack will do for you — you’ll turn into Alan! Is it worth it to be so boring and blonde and clean?” –crossbuck

“Damn, Crock is heartbreaking today. The chef is clearly depressed at the prospect of having to boil his friend alive. Which explains why he’s slumped, unshaven, and appears to be wearing a noose fashioned out of a napkin. Why he’s wearing a boot on his head makes less sense, until you remember that this is Crock, where where not even the act of grief may be drawn correctly.” –RaJ

“So FINALLY Toby is going to figure out just what the fuck she did wrong. (Well, figure out = having someone explain it to her step by step over many hours.)” –T. Chicana

“A thing happened in a soap opera strip? That’s right, isn’t it? That was a thing, right? Shooting somebody over drugs is a thing?” –captainswift

“Yes Uncle Mark, to pet Sneaky just go ahead and lean against this impossibly small light blue chair placed right in the middle of the room. We chose the model with the 6-inch wide back for extra discomfort!” –mikey

“Herb, I’m going to put you on an exercise program. You’ve already started it by climbing up on my 5’ 6” exam table.” –Patrick

“Another way to look at Ray with the gun (his ‘raygun’ as it were) is to imagine Ray being played by Faye Dunaway. Not Dunaway as Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest but just a bald-headed Faye Dunaway desperate for a part. Contemplate her voice with the ‘Liars — All liars!!!’ and you’ll see that it makes perfect sense.” –Dingo

“I like how Billy imagines himself in the dress. That leads me to believe that he’s not sad about the gift, but at his fat legs.” –Buddy and Hopkins: Music Cartoons

“I just think it’s pretty damn telling that Dolly is alone, all alone except for her psychopath brother, on her birthday.” –NotThatGuy

To those who put money in the tip jar, I say: Huzzah! And an extra huzzah to our advertisers:

• Josh teams up with MST3K alums! Enjoy MST3K-style ribbing of the weepiest Spider-Man ever — with Bill Corbett, Kevin Murphy, and your very own Comics Curmudgeon!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.