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Pardon My Planet, 4/17/19

Welp, I’ve got three more months of analysis under my belt and I still do not know what the deal is with Pardon My Planet. Are these two a stable couple of characters we’re supposed to know and love? Or does everyone in the strip just kind of look like this? Definitely could not tell you! I do enjoy the image of a Gen-X dude with a soul patch coming home after a long day at the office, settling back in his favorite chair, and then his beloved wife, dressed in a traditional tube top, brings him a soothing martini and engages him in discourse about the etymology of common phrases. I don’t necessarily want to live in this world, but I’m definitely warmed by the idea that it might exist.

Hi and Lois, 4/17/19

Man, it sure seems like Trixie’s been abandoned even more than usual today, doesn’t it? “I’ll just let the weather guy on Channel 7 babysit her until Chip gets home from school,” says Lois, as she hastily packs a bag and prepares to leave forever. “He seems trustworthy.”

Mary Worth, 4/17/19

ARTHUR IS COMING, EVERYBODY

BRACE YOURSELVES

BRACE YOURSELVES FOR THE MOST DELICIOUS DISAPPOINTMENT YOU’VE EVER SEEN

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Pardon My Planet, 1/19/19

Pardon My Planet is a strip (panel?) I’ve added to my rotation in the new year, and honestly I can’t really tell if it’s supposed to be a Far Side-esque series of out-of-context gags that happens to only have three or four character models, or if I’m supposed to be recognizing these people as distinct characters with persistent personalities and such. Either way, though, today’s panel, which implies a rapid descent into body horror as this haunted-eyes dude tries escalating techniques for transforming his anatomy in impossible ways, represents a sharp turn that I am very much here for.

Dennis the Menace, 1/19/19

God damn it, is it possible to be less menacing than adorably comforting your dad with a lovable teddy bear??? The only way I can accept this is if I imagine Dennis as being extremely sarcastic. “Here, dad … mom says you’re havin’ a rough day and whining like a little baby, so here’s a stuffed animal, like a baby would want. Fuckin’ baby.”

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Apartment 3-G, 8/20/12

Under the terms of a 2005 bar bet between Apartment 3-G writer Margaret Shulock and artist Frank Bolle, Bolle buys the drinks whenever Shulock traps him into drawing something or somebody new, and Shulock buys when Bolle slips the trap. Now comes Margo’s “breathtaking”, “gorgeous” new client Greg Cooper.

I hope Frank doesn’t have any early meetings tomorrow.

Pardon My Planet, 8/20/12

Oh, is that what those are?

Also, the guy is apparently texting “STD TGIF SOP”, which I think means he’s looking forward to contracting a venereal disease tonight like he does every Friday?

Pluggers, 8/20/12

The First Axiom, “pluggers are obese” is here revealed as inconsistent with the Second Axiom, “pluggers have no shame.” The Pluggers universe will now explode in a hail of lipids and self-hatred. Don’t stand too close.

— Uncle Lumpy