Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/13/25

Oh, a thing I forgot to tell you about that happened in Rex Morgan, M.D., is that Summer managed to track down other people her stalker had stalked, and messaged one of them on Facebook while Augie was checking the perimeter. Apparently that lady, “Debra,” is dead (from … stalking?) or at least no longer in charge of her phone, and her … widower? … has it, and he got the message, which led him across town to confront the stalker … with a gun. A gun that shoots booze and pills straight into your bloodstream, I guess!

Mary Worth, 4/13/25

Hey, remember that time that Wilbur was having a fantasy about being a superhero, but actually he was having a series of wacky, clumsy misadventures while lost in his fantasy, but actually he saved a guy from getting killed, so maybe the superhero thing wasn’t a fantasy, after all? Well, I guess we’re seeing something similar here, with Wilbur saving Dawn from that poisoned tea in the process of reaching across the table for no readily apparently reason. Unless … he knows that the tea is poisoned, and just hasn’t said anything because he’s hoping to get laid a couple times before he calls the cops on his murderous paramour? I think we may have found a way for Wilbur to go Too Far, and I dread the consequences.

Dick Tracy, 4/13/25

Sorry, I misspoke Thursday, that guy with the flattop isn’t a cop; he has a much higher calling, as an insurance investigator, and he and the dentist are going to crack this case wide open. Imagine thinking you could disguise a corpse by simulating someone else’s dental work in a superficial way, without taking into account the natural wear and tear that occurs over time! It makes this good doctor furious, and he’s showing his anger by baring his teeth — his beautiful, beautiful teeth — as is custom among his people.

The Phantom, 4/13/25

Speaking of customs among the people, it seems our Wambesi city kid has gone straight from never looking down on the old ways to hopping straight over Chesterton’s fence into the Forbidden Zone. Sure, it’s not permitted for you to go in that direction, rube, but Nia has a metal detector and a shirt from the Gap. She’s going to be fine! Stop complaining!

Post Content

The Phantom, 4/6/25

One thing I respect about the Phantom is that, for a strip that started out with a fairly dubious colonialist attitude, it now makes a good faith effort to imagine what life would be like realistically in Bangalla, a post-colonial African state that balances a modern capital inhabited by a Westernized elite with a large citizen body that still lives more traditional lifestyles. That’s why I’m intrigued by this new storyline, in which a group of Wambesi living in Mawitaan return home to [squints at last panel] [record scratch] THE UNGRAVED? Best case scenario, it’s some nightmare where corpses are strewn about the village; worst case scenario will be a zombie situation that will have me taking back all the stuff I just said about how far this strip has come.

Dustin and Beetle Bailey, 4/6/25

Ah, it’s time for some fun dream sequences starring two of the funnies’ most callow young people! The Dustin one is straightforward enough to parse — Dustin, who lives with the father who hates him, finds himself trapped on a tiny island with him, a horizon that he can never reach visible in every direction as his father keeps demanding he get a job just in time for another general economic collapse. Beetle Bailey is a bit sillier — ha ha, he’s sick of peeling potatoes, so he’s dreaming of Cookie as a giant angry potato! — but I have to admit that the potato-man seems more and more unsettling the more I look it. The way his body is all head, the way his arms apparently connect to his back, the way he waves around a knife that will be used to slice off the skin of his fellow potatoes and, ultimately, himself? … well, it’s an unsettling look into Beetle’s subconscious, I’ll just say that.

Post Content

Shoe, 4/2/25

You know, I was going to joke here about how the snuggie’s brief moment as a cultural sensation came and went in 2009, which I regret to inform everyone was literally 16 years ago, and I started squinting at the “2025” in the Perfesser’s word balloon to see if it had been altered from some earlier and more appropriate date, but then, I thought, you know what? Blankets with sleeves are pretty cool, honestly a lot cooler than anything we’ve developed since, technology-wise. Did you know you can get them with a little pocket for your remote control now? Why is that kind of innovation not being applied in the flying car field? It’s truly shameful.

The Phantom, 4/2/25

I do feel bad for Kadia, whose world as a cloistered rich girl was shattered when she learned that her family riches came from supervillainy. Still, you have to admit that “I was afraid to warn Kit … Kadia can lose her grip on reality and become unpredictable” is an extremely funny thing to think about a girl you’re trying to set your brother up with. Anyway, could her psychic trauma from being the daughter of a supervillain be healed by becoming the wife of a superhero? I’m not a “licensed therapist,” but this is a superhero comic, so almost certainly yes.

Mary Worth, 4/2/25

I’ve never really imagined that the Santa Royale culinary scene is vibrant, exactly, but I still find it pretty wild that Wilbur feels so short of options that he would voluntarily return to My Thai, the restaurant that was the site of one of his biggest humiliations, which is really saying something. I guess it’s possible that that he’s only at this moment realizing that accidentally-but-not-really spilling something on someone at dinner when you’re drunk and/or on whatever it is that has Belle’s eyes looking like that seems cool when you’re doing it, but when you’re sober and watching it happen, you realize it’s actually not very cool at all.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/2/25

“Wait, so you had … a job? …in England?”