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Dick Tracy, 8/13/25

“Oh heh heh heh you’re absolutely right, boss. Say, I have a correction of my own: ‘I counted 211 names, dick!'”

Curtis, 8/13/25

OK, you can say “turd” in Curtis but not “toilet.” Noted.

Slylock Fox, 8/13/25

1) Pluto, dammit!

Phantom, 8/13/25

Patrolwoman Dai has her eyes on the prize
With the wool firmly pulled over her colonel’s eyes
She is skilled in all manner of social control
To advance her career in the Jungle Patrol!

So that General Chuma had better watch out
‘Cause there isn’t an ethical code she won’t flout!
He could find himself chained in his mine’s deepest hole
To help Dai make lieutenant at Jungle Patrol!

It’s a cinch that Ms. Dai will now rise through the ranks,
Passing Hawa and Kay and the rest of those skanks
‘Til she stands within reach of her ultimate goal:
The Unknown Commander of Jungle Patrol!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Phantom, 8/10/25

One of Phantom‘s many charms is its meticulous attention to aviation history. That doomed B-17F Flying Fortress is the Miss Nonalee II, captured and looted by the Luftwaffe at at the end of 1943, then repainted with German markings for clandestine operations. Phantom’s raceplane is F-ANPY, one of two de Havilland DH.88 Comets sold to the French and last seen in poor condition at Étampes, France, on 16 June 1940, the day the Germans invaded. So these particular aircraft could plausibly have wound up in this Phantom timeline.

But I’m worried about the Walkers’ marriage. Look at the guy, fully suited up at breakfast, pecking at his miserable egg and millet with his mind clearly on work, no eye contact (no eyes!), cryptic communications, keeping secrets until there’s no turning back yikes. And “Remove the …? !!–the canopy!?” sounds to me like Phantom will indeed be flying with Diana tonight, but she’ll be landing all alone.

Next: New Adventure—Savarna Comforts the Ghost-Who-Grieves

Crankshaft, 8/10/25

Plenty of local detail here to justify a sweet tax deduction for the author’s “research” trip to Winnipeg: mascot Boomer there, Coach O’Shea’s beard, and #86 wide receiver Kennans Clercius. The embedded joke is that this is an actual stunt play that could work to shake off tight coverage: the slot back moves before the snap to misdirect defenders; QB hands the ball off to the slot back, who hands to Clercius, who flips to the running back, who throws to the QB. The curl “sluggo” (slant-and-go) route is a misdirect by the split end to open a seam for the QB to run through after the catch. It works in Canadian football because pre-snap motion (the “waggle”) is permitted and the field is wider, so there’s time and space to spread out the defenders.

But the funny part is seeing the Crankshaft frog-marched off to prison, just like the author will be once the IRS learns that Boomer’s #00 jersey is gold, not blue. Hey, it would work in Slylock Fox and Dick Tracy, why not here?

Luann, 8/10/25

Ha, ha, the DA pushed for “intent to defraud” and Brad didn’t plead out. Saved seventy-eight cents; got five years. So I ask: is a year of Brad’s life really worth sixteen cents? Let’s have a reader poll!

Dustin, 8/10/25

“Paparazzi, Fitch? What about that guy in the corner with the sketch pad and colored pencils? He thinks I don’t see him, but I do … always. My life is not my own. You think it’s the camera that makes paparazzi intrusive?”

—Uncle Lumpy

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The Lockhorns, 7/26/25

The random, silent bystanders who show up in The Lockhorns represent one of the strip’s great mysteries. Like, who is this lady, who we’ve never seen before and never will again, but who apparently thought she might get some quality time in with Loretta, only to discover that she was about to take her unconscious husband to a matinee showing of the latest superhero movie? Honestly, I enjoy speculating, but I’m also glad we’ll never find out. Anyway, this, and not some geek-savvy discourse, is the only way I want to think about the box office performance of franchise films. Are Superman’s ticket numbers being artificially inflated by women physically carrying their comatose husbands into the theater, an action that represents the latest aggression in a long-running conflict in a way that even they can’t explain? I’d be happy to read 2,000 words in Variety on the subject.

The Phantom, 7/26/25

Speaking of superhero franchises, The Phantom has been running for 89 years now, and I’m pleased to see that it’s taking the steps necessary to stay up to date. “Don’t share too much personal information online, or you might end up enslaved by warlords in a mine in Africa” is a timely message that today’s comics readers need to hear.

Dustin, 7/26/25

Ha ha, look at Dustin’s expression in that last panel! He’s definitely going to leave his father to die in that hammock, and you know what? Good for him.