The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Archive: Phantom

Comments are closed

Pretty sure there’s a verse in Leviticus that forbids interring a freshwater fish in the ocean

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/10/24

The thing about disposing of a dead fish is, honestly, that there isn’t a particularly dignified way to do it, and if you’re as emotionally devastated about said fish’s death as Wilbur clearly is, then I suppose it’s hard to get some kind of closure. Maybe this is a best-case scenario! Because I don’t think that chucking a matchbox coffin off the deck of Dr. Jeff’s DieselBurner-2000 superboat is going to be that dignified, actually, and that’s before we even take into account how visibly contemptuous of the proceedings Dr. Jeff will be (you will be able to correctly ascertain his negative attitude from space).

The Phantom, 6/10/24

So the idol theft storyline turned out to be related to the years-long Death Of The Phantom arc, in that it gave an opportunity for the Phantom’s dumb son to reveal that he had a dream that sort of tied into Old Man Mozz’s prophecy in ways I don’t fully follow and am not going to bother trying to rehash for you here. Mostly I am just putting down a marker of hope here that we truly are getting a fresh new storyline, one involving a private spaceflight company known as “Space-Ox,” run by a guy named Elon Musk Ox (he’s just like Elon Musk, but also an ox).

Hi and Lois, 6/10/24

Fine, I’m all in on the new “punchlines are for the old and weak” era of Hi and Lois. Hi is up in the dead of night brooding over the fact that the world has changed since he was young. Are things better, or are they worse? Hard to say, but they’re different, and that exercises his mind in ways his wife would give anything to not hear about. Perfection, no notes, etc.

Comments are closed

Ancient ways, modern art

Post Content

Gasoline Alley, 5/14/24

Ha ha yes, last week I had some fun imagining Walt encountering some biblically accurate angels, but this week Walt has entered a dreamscape where he’s conflating going to a public meeting and not actually doing anything helpful until the mayor showed up and fixed the actual problem with being an ancient hero, a biblical patriarch and warrior who triumphs over impossible odds. Don’t worry, though: unlike the real bible, this imagined ancient setting will still include the crushingly unfunny wordplay you have come to expect from this strip.

The Phantom, 5/14/24

Oh, OK, so this whole thing has ultimately been about a little light idol theft, and I think it’s funny that this bad guy thinks he can rope our hero in with the promise of ill-gotten idol riches. The Phantom would never do anything so gauche as to launder pilfered cultural heritage through discreet and well-connected European auction houses so they end up at the British Museum next to a small plaque that says “provenance unknown”! Why would he bother, when he could just keep them in a room deep in his jungle lair and go down and look at them every few years?

Gil Thorp, 5/14/24

“Well, here’s your problem: you got one of those cubist buses! Sure, you can perceive it from multiple perspectives at once so you can better understand its context, but that kind of setup is hell on an internal combustion engine.”

Comments are closed

The surreal and the terrifying

Post Content

Alice, 4/15/24

I’m happy to report that, sine I started reading Alice a few weeks ago, I have fallen thoroughly, 100% under its spell. This strip takes perfectly ordinary situations, like when you receive parrot medicine from beloved novelist and short story writer Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007) but are then unable to give it to your parrot because it flies away, and turns them into delightfully surreal episodes. Ha ha, that parrot does not want to take that medicine! Also Alice (?) is … flying? And her head …. looks like that? Anyway! Alice, I don’t fully “get it” but I’m keenly interested to see what it’s doing next!

Crock, 4/15/24

Look, man, I get what you’re going for here and it’s basically cute and whimsical, but maybe don’t have your characters stumble upon a field of hacked-off human extremities rotting in the desert sun if your comic set is against the backdrop of grinding colonial insurgency, OK? Just … trust me on this one.

The Phantom, 4/15/24

So this current Phantom storyline, it turns out, is about Kit Jr. joining the Ghost Who Walks on one of his adventures, so we can all find out if he really has it what it takes to step up, become the 22nd Phantom, the ultimate jungle warrior and seemingly immortal crime fighter, and fulfill the destiny he was born and bred for. Anyway, turns out he definitely does not have what it takes! He’s just going to get strangled with a chain by some low-level henchman wearing a tank top, because he wasn’t paying attention, like a dumbass.