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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/8/19

Hello, major media brands! Are you looking to increase awareness of your properties among hard-to-reach demographics, like shut-ins and the elderly? Consider in-story messaging within the King Features line of trusted continuity strips! We’ve already laid the groundwork by having Wilbur Weston, the comics’ most unappealing character, inform readers that streaming media services exist. And for a surprisingly reasonably partnership fee, mildly beloved Rex Morgan, M.D., character Mindy could actually say the name of your show while she remains immobile in bed for the next several weeks, rather than just hinting at its plot! Be sure to act now to accommodate comics publishing’s 12-18 week lead time so that your property gets name-checked just in time for it to “drop” (as the kids say) on streaming!

Mutts, 9/8/19

I know I almost never talk about Mutts on this site, but when the adorable lisping animals suddenly start contemplating the total genocide of the human race? As a human who doesn’t want to be genocided, that’s when I sit up and take notice.

The Phantom, 9/8/19

The Ghost-Who-Walks has kept the Deep Woods under his protection for hundreds of years! But can he defend against the newest, most deadly threat yet: gentrification?

Six Chix, 9/8/19

The world is burning, life is madness … should Six Chix get into piss stuff? Sure. Why not. Lol nothing matters!

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Mark Trail, 9/14/19

“Shh, Cherry, shhh, everything will be OK … I promise you,” Mark said, gently but firmly removing the Cherry-unit’s head so her system would deactivate and he could safely store her. “No need to worry her,” he thought. “I’ll just reassemble her when I get back from Nepal and she’ll never even realize I was gone.”

Dustin, 9/14/19

Hot tip for dude cartoonists: if you ever have the urge to do a strip about how “ha ha, women sure sometimes just SLATHER ON THE MAKEUP, amiright”, just be sure your lady characters are the ones doing the talking! Then it’ll all be on the up and up. We all know how catty women are, right? Mrr-ow!

The Phantom, 9/14/19

Hey, if you’ve been reading The Phantom for a while and you ever wondered “Hmm, would someone raised from birth to be a gun-toting warrior who goes on to suffer incredible physical and psychological trauma on mission after mission end up with, like, PTSD, maybe,” today’s dream sequence has some answers for you!

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Folks! I’m back from vacation! Thanks for being so kind to your favorite Uncle Lumpy, and huge thanks for being so kind to me in the summer fundraiser! Those of you donated will be getting a personal thanks from me shortly, but you’re all my beloved pals who help keep this site going! Meanwhile, let’s catch up on what the strips have been up to in my absence! Probably none of them are in the midst of a rambling week-long dialogue that’s obliquely about me personally and the site I run, right?

Mark Trail, 8/29/19

Uhh … Mark …?

Gil Thorp, 8/29/19

Anyhoo, it looks like Gil Thorp is finally zeroing on what this year’s football season plot is going to be! Seems like we’ll be taking on the perennial question, “Can you convince your ungrateful stepchildren to love you by lying to them about how good they are at sports?” Jury’s still out!

The Phantom, 8/29/19

The Phantom has really tried to clean up its act over the past couple of decades, wokeness-wise, but does it occasionally return to its roots: extolling the virtues of a powerful white superhero whose powers are largely the result of resources extracted from the colonized nation he dominates.