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Six Chix, 9/16/24

Hey lady, if you want to shut down all the chit-chat, repeat after me: “I’m a Cross‑Fit vegan; let me tell you about my fur‑babies!”

On the Fast Track, 9/16/24

Oh for crying out loud, Dethany, it’s the one in Row 3 Column 1. It’s your sight gag, own it!

Gil Thorp, 9/16/24

Gil takes his team to Juvie. “Scared straight” or role-modeling? I don’t know, but I know how I want to bet.

Phantom, 9/16/24

Plasma cutting requires an electrical path through conductive material to ground. Devil’s upset because his prosthetic tin nose itches and there’s an electrode up his butt.

Sally Forth, 9/16/24

The Forths enter a corn maze and narrative Doom Loop. They will escape from neither.

Hmm, do Brits have “maize mazes”?

—Uncle Lumpy

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Phantom, 9/13/24

The AI-powered Avarice bot learns from the creatures around it and imitates their behavior! It won’t be long before it’s hoarding priceless relics, lording it over the natives, and acting like a dick to the Jungle Patrol!

Zits, 9/13/24

Jeremy achieves Singularity with a polite, considerate, relatable AI version of himself. But I call shenanigans: there’s no way the AI learned those behaviors by training on the Internet.

Rhymes with Orange, 9/13/24

Oh c’mon everybody knows commercials are for looking at your phone.

Gil Thorp, 9/13/24

My only connection to football is a vestigial fondness for the Green Bay Packers from the dairyland of my birth. But in the words of our compatriots over at This Week in Milford, what the hell is going on here? Green Team’s QB is passing left but Milford’s defenseman intercepts it on the right. Did our point of view cross the line in panel two? And where’s the runback? Anybody looking to disprove the General Relativity theory of space-time should fire a couple electrons into Gil Thorp.

Sherman’s Lagoon, 9/13/24

Fillmore sits in homage to his idol Truck Tyler, waiting for inspiration. Sadly, Hawthorne’s assaults will cause his pickin’ finger to lock up.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/13/24

All that bullyin’ don’t sit well with Truck, who knows a thing or two about sittin’.

The Comics Curmudgeon offers 100% handcrafted content daily, undiluted by annoying AI filler. Isn’t that worth a few bucks? I thought so!

And just a reminder that there are no Comments of the Week on my watch, so 2+2=7’s gem will ride up there for at least another week.

—Uncle Lumpy

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The Phantom, 9/8/24

Phantom was growing increasingly vexed
That the proles would identify him as John X.
So by making up missions and playing a role
He set out to bewilder the Jungle Patrol.

Now you may think the Phantom was being a dick,
But protecting The Legend is part of his schtick
And he doesn’t much mind it’s exacting a toll
On his credulous fans at the Jungle Patrol!

So poor Colonel Worubu is having a sad
‘Cause he’s lost the best buddy that he never had.
But his misery’s nothing but damage control
To the Unknown Commander of Jungle Patrol!

Mark Trail, 9/8/24

Mark proposes to save the Catalina Quail by burning down its habitat. It’s possible he doesn’t see that “local shrubbery” and “overgrown uncleared brush” are the same thing. It’s certain he hasn’t thought this all the way through. Either way though, roast quail is delicious.

Family Circus, 9/8/24

What’s more tragic: that Jeffy will grow into a sleep-deprived corporate drone like his Dad, or that Bil will deteriorate into a scatterbrained idiot like his son?

Rex Morgan, M.D. (panels), 9/8/24

Your finger hurts. No one can help you. No one cares. Your career is over and your life is meaningless. Sit, Truck, sit. Sit like you’ve never sat before.

—Uncle Lumpy