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The Lockhorns, 2/12/25

Inexpensive compared to what, Leroy? Eating at a “nice” restaurant? It still is! Eating at home? It never was! No, you’ve just decided to make Loretta feel bad because she begged to go out to eat somewhere, anywhere for once. Isn’t it cruel enough that you’re forcing her to split a single order of fries with you? Why can’t you be more like the guy in the background, who sincerely appreciates all the fast food industry’s deep bench of food scientists have done in terms of creating meal-like experiences suffused with the proper combinations of chemicals to activate the exact same part of your brain that reacts to cocaine?

Dennis the Menace, 2/12/25

Normally I’m not a fan of the “Dennis shit-talks his mom’s cooking” strips, but I gotta admit he’s really selling it here. That’s the face a guy with a mouthful of sawdust. That’s the face a guy who hasn’t tasted anything other than sawdust in years.

Pluggers, 2/12/25

Either pluggers swap sexual partners so often they can no longer be bothered to keep track of their fuckbuddies’ names, or they’re suffering from some kind of tragic brain ailment that’s causing early onset dementia. I leave it up to you to decide which possibility is more disturbing.

Mary Worth, 2/12/25

“I am now that Jared has pointed out that ‘Dirk’ rhymes with ‘jerk’! That’s a great mnemonic to remind me that he’s a jerk! Usually I just see his pretty eyes and beefy forearms and forget.”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/12/25

Ha ha, it’s funny because everyone in town knows that Snuffy is a financial, legal, and emotional burden on all of his loved ones!

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Hagar the Horrible, 2/5/25

Hagar is of course no friend of kings, so obviously this strip, where he appears to be halpertfacing to the reader while hanging out with his friend the king while the king waxes philosophical, is a bit confusing. A more likely interpretation of what we’re seeing: for once Hagar has decided to abandon his usual strategy of frontal assault on a targeted stronghold for stealth, the king thinks he’s alone and is just soliloquizing to nobody in particular, and Hagar is halpertfacing to the reader just before slitting the king’s throat and stealing his gold.

Dennis the Menace, 2/5/25

I can’t believe everyone is smiling at this terrible quip from Dennis. You should not be smiling about this! You should be very upset!

Pluggers, 2/5/25

Plugger torch passed from Boomers to Gen X: CONFIRMED

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Pluggers, 1/31/25

I actually sleep with a second pillow — not because it prevents me from falling out of bed, how would that even work, honestly it makes no sense to me and looking at the drawing doesn’t make it make more sense, also do grown adults fall out of bed, this is insane — but just because I like to hold onto something while I sleep, probably a habit I picked up with stuffed animals as a kid and never truly grew out of. Very early in our relationship my wife started referring to this pillow as my “girlfriend,” a term that has stuck to this day. Anyway, that’s a long way to explain why the first thing I thought when I saw this panel was “the caption should be ‘plugger polyamory,’” which is bad, but you have to admit a lot less bad than a lot of Pluggers panels that could be captioned “plugger polyamory” might be.

Marvin, 1/31/25

Honestly if I had to pick a favorite kind of Marvin strip, it would be the ones where it’s made obvious how much Marvin’s parents dislike each other. I presume it’s because each holds the other primarily responsible for the creation of Marvin, whom they dislike even more.

Family Circus, 1/31/25

God, look at how happy she is. He’s almost asleep! Several blessed hours of unconscious Jeffy time, coming right up!