Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/9/25

I regret to inform you that we are almost to the end of week one of “Kelly is in college, now” and it appears we never did make our way out of the phone talking part of the storyline. But I do think today’s strip has an nice message about how much better Summer and Kelly get along now that she’s out of her rebellious phase. Back then, Kelly was very dismissive about her mother’s “dumb boyfriends,” but now she’s like “Mom, I’m not at home anymore, so shouldn’t you be using the opportunity to, I dunno, have more sex? Just a suggestion. Welp, gotta go!”

Curtis, 1/9/25

Today’s Curtis is a repeat — you can tell because Curtis isn’t wearing the streamlined new hat he got as a gift in 2018 — and I’m pretty sure it may date to before I even started doing this blog. That’s because I can’t find any evidence I talked about it when it first ran, and maybe I’ve become a different person over the years, but I find it hard to believe that at any point in my long life of reading the comics so you don’t have to I would’ve neglected to note that Greg thought of his ample posterior as being in a monogamous sexual relationship with his chair, and his butt and the chair have sex, and are in love, and we’re left to speculate on the mechanics of both types of interaction. I feel like I would’ve talked about it! It’s a lot.

Pluggers, 1/9/25

“Oh Lord, I started out the day with good intentions, but then I got out of bed and, as usual, that’s when it all went wrong! So much blood! So much killing! If You didn’t want me to maul and maul and maul, why did You make me a bear with such powerful claws?”

Post Content

Gasoline Alley, 12/16/24

So the whole point of these uncanny children going to space in the first place was so that they could write a school report about the solar system, and despite the fact that they almost died out there and had to be rescued by their evil talking doll, they didn’t even bother applying the awesome knowledge they acquired first hand to their assignment and just had an AI write it. And it did a shitty job! Which they should’ve known it would do, because it was the thing that almost got them killed in space in the first place, due to its incompetence! And yeah, sure, writing a report for elementary school is a lot easier than navigating an interplanetary craft, but I’m sorry, if a machine comes close to killing me, I stop using that machine, even for lower-stakes stuff. I’m not going to say these kids deserved to die on the cold surface of Mars, but they definitely deserve bad grades on those papers.

Family Circus, 12/16/24

The joke here, I guess, is that Daddy has forced Jeffy to say this to a hapless mall Santa because he wants to set Jeffy’s own expectations correctly, but look at that face. That’s a guy who still Believes. “C’mon, Santa,” he’s thinking, “don’t fuck this up for me this year.”

Alice, 12/16/24

Uh, gee, Alice, do you think there’s an alien base on the moon? Alice’s boyfriend (?)’s attitude towards Alice (the character) really represents the reader’s position vis-a-vis Alice (the comic strip) here: Asking neutral questions, not making direct eye contact, sitting very still, hoping for the best.

Pluggers, 12/16/24

“Pluggers don’t wear gloves outside in Minnesota in December” is I think the point where we start doing wellness checks on the pluggers in our lives. Don’t wait until they end up in the hospital getting their fingers amputated!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 11/27/24

Oh, man, this is incredible, we’re now on day three of Mary’s dinner guests making it very clear that they don’t mind at all that dinner’s been cancelled, and then going off and doing the thing that they’re now free to do because dinner’s been cancelled while very much not worrying about whether Mary’s dying or whatever. In Dr. Jeff’s case, the thing that he’s now free to do is to take a brisk walk alone into the woods and never come back.

Shoe, 11/27/24

Normally it would be the guy delivering the gag who would get the heavy lidded expression of despair in the second panel, indicating his shame at delivering terrible Shoe-level wordplay. But that’s not the case here, which leads me to believe this guy isn’t making a joke or anything. He’s dead serious about it: the toilet seat thing is a sick sex thing, one that drives his wife wild with desire, and it’s no doubt just the beginning of some very elaborate process that you do not want to know about. Shoe’s right to look so angry about having to hear this.

Pluggers, 11/27/24

Hey, pluggers, you guys know that they give the mall Santas a wig and a fake beard, right? It’s pretty obvious when you look at them. Even the little kids can tell, for the most part.