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Hi and Lois, 10/5/21

I’m not sure when, strictly speaking, we can say that untucked shirts came into fashion, but I’m going to say that it’s been … pretty much my entire adult life? And I’m 47? Anyway, I like how absolutely thrilled Hi looks in panel one. He never thought he’d live to see the day when a man might untuck his shirttails and still retain his dignity, but that day has arrived, and his life has been transformed.

Marvin, 10/5/21

There are two big narrative problems with this strip. One is that Bitsy’s character model includes full-time collar wearing — he’s got one on in this very strip — so it’s weird for the fish to imply that it’s a potty-specific accessory. Maybe this should’ve said “leash”? Two, fish “go potty” in their own bowl, turning their very environment into a stew of their own wastes, which is surely more shameful than however you want to think about what dogs have going on this department. The thing I hate about Marvin is that it makes you think about pissing and shitting on several narrative layers at any given moment.

Pluggers, 10/5/21

Look, when pluggers are all smug about how down-homey and real-American they are, I enjoy getting riled up about it. But when they’re wracked with shame about their strange, man-animal bodies? That’s a lot less fun, in my opinion. Please, pluggers, get your act together so you may remain a worthy antagonist for me!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/5/21

Jokes on you, Grimm! That guy’s not a man at all! He’s a bird!

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Beetle Bailey, 10/4/21

I’m reasonably sure that if a soldier were running away from his commanding officer, who intended to brutally beat him, and was live-streaming the whole thing, that is the sort of thing that would go viral! Probably, uh, not in a fun way, though.

Mary Worth, 10/4/21

Wow, looks like Wilbur’s going to upgrade, lady-wise! When confronted with an ill-behaving pet, his ex was all like “Let’s talk about everybody’s feelings,” blah blah blah. But Carol offers sensible and concrete solutions, like “maybe don’t leave things out where your dog can chew on them” or “what do you mean you didn’t buy a chew toy for your dog, you utter dolt.” I think they’re gonna get along just fine!

Pluggers, 10/4/21

Everything else, though? Goes right into the landfill, even if it’s recyclable. Sometimes it doesn’t even make it into the trashcan. A lot of times pluggers just throw stuff out the window of their moving car!

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Mary Worth, 9/27/21

“Bonjour, mes amis! Eet ees I, Pierre, narrating my new life with zees Weelbur character! Many Americans like to make big jokes about zee French and our military — how-you-say — misadventures in zee first half of zee 20th century! But let it not be said that we have not learned from our errors! For instance: keeping our army behind zee Maginot Line, waiting for zee Boche to attack? A foolish notion, as it turned out! That is why I am responding to zees one’s threatened aggression weeth a pre-emptive attack! Take zat, you terrible shoes! Trust me, Weelbur, once you get over your anger, you will thank me when you upgrade to something much more fashionable! And zat is how we shall eventually become friends, just like zee French and zee Boche today.”

Blondie, 9/27/21

I hate to be the guy pining for the long-lost past of comic strips. I’m not even going to demand a return to the Blondie of the 1930s, which featured delightfully detailed drawings of Blondie’s roommate being stood up at the altar by an ether-crazed Dagwood. I just want someone at this strip to go back to thinking up fun names for its off-screen characters, and knock it off with the incredibly on-the-nose ones. It’s a contract, which is about money, so I guess the person or company they’re signing the contract with is named … Moolah? We don’t need this brand of comics onomastics, Blondie, we already have Beetle Bailey!

Pluggers, 9/27/21

I am definitely assuming this plugger is using a grocery cart to push her giant purse around her own home. Not going to do any further research on this one!