Post Content

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/26/21

Remember Bizzy Buzz Buzz, the Snuffy Smith character who was named after a popular (?) 1960s toy and whose whole deal is that she likes to obsessively clean things? Well, she’s back. This lovable unaccompanied minor who just can’t get enough of doing unpaid labor for her kinfolk is back! She will be returning every 3-5 years to this strip whether you like it or not, so you might as well grit your teeth and fall in love with her, it’ll be easier that way.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/26/21

Ah, well, it seems like Phil’s death-faking may have been a bit less involved than I had anticipated, and really the only people possibly facing any legal consequences would be the lawyers who straight-up lied to Darrin about why they were sending those covers to him, but what’s a little light lying for a client, who it’s been established was sort of cheated out of a lot revenue for his comics creations and probably couldn’t pay you very much in the first place? Anyway, it turns out Phil mostly faked his death because he didn’t like attention, but then after a few years he realized that in fact maybe he was wrong about that, so he revealed that he was alive in an extremely dramatic fashion at a packed comics convention, so everyone could pay attention to him and his insane life choices.

Dustin, 7/26/21

We all love the comic strip Dustin, because it’s brought balance to the Generation Wars by proving that everyone, whether they’re a Silent or a Boomer or a Gen Xer or a Millennial or a Zoomer, is basically unlikeable. But have you been waiting for the strip to take on a bold new frontier by getting unpleasantly horny? Well, good news!

Pluggers, 7/26/21

Say, did you know there’s a French phrase for this very phenomenon? It’s l’esprit de l’escalier, which literally means “the spirit of the staircase,” the idea being that you think of the perfect bon mot as you’re walking up the stairs to your apartment after you’ve left the party. In related news, I thought of the phrase that’s mostly likely to trigger a plugger into a violent rage, and it’s “Say, did you know there’s a French phrase for this very phenomenon?”

Post Content

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/21/21

Good news, everyone! Like Dennis the Menace, Grimm, the lovable dog from the syndicated comic strip Mother Goose and Grimm, is about to get what he deservers (incarceration in a federal prison).

Dennis the Menace, 7/21/21

Ha ha, just kidding, of course. Dennis remains at large, and in fact his little road trip with the Wilsons is about to come to an end. The adorable tyke is being delivered safe and sound back to his family, who have finally enjoyed enough Dennis-free days to be able to deal with him again. Remember, it takes a village to avoid your child!

Pluggers, 7/21/21

Oh, do you use a scrap of cloth or paper to ensure that you don’t soil yourself and clothes? Well why don’t you go back to communist Europe, you effeminiate weirdo

Sam and Silo, 7/21/21

BORIS JOHNSON: ORIGINS

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 6/17/21

Good news, everyone! The library fight in Gil Thorp has ended in a classic “We’re not so different, you and I” situation, in which Abel wants to cut government funding from public services and Zane wants public services to pivot to profit-making ventures. Surely there’s some beautiful synergy to be had there! Hey, you’re probably wondering why library workers tend to be such stick in the muds about patrons eating or drinking in the library, and as a former library worker I can tell you that it is 100% because food attracts bugs and mice and bugs and mice eat books. Just putting that out there! Anyway, the important thing is that Zane has defeated Kathy’s dad in the marketplace of ideas, and that has Kathy all hornt up, which means that natural balance has been restored to the universe.

Pluggers, 6/17/21

My sympathy is with this poor dog-child. Can you imagine a plugger leaving comments on your social media posts? While making that facial expression? Truly chilling.