Dennis the Menace, 3/10/18
“Who would’ve guessed we’d get to spend the afternoon burying a dead guy, just because Mr. Wilson says we’re too young to go to ‘grown-up jail’?”
Pluggers, 3/10/18
This is hoarding. It’s real diagnosable condition and pluggers have it! They’re literally hoarding things!
Beetle Bailey, 3/10/18
YOU HEAR THAT YOU MILLENNIAL PUNKS? YOU LIKE TEXTING, DO YA? WELL YOU’RE GONNA FUCKIN DIE!!!!!
Pluggers, 3/4/18
A plugger knows he’s on a restricted diet when his dog’s food starts to look appetizing, when he looks at his dog’s food and thinks, “This is how I’m supposed to eat, not with a fork and knife, not off of a plate, not wearing clothes, not living in a house.” A plugger knows the restrictions come from a decision he made long ago, when he had to choose to remain as he was or to become something different, something that was supposed to be better. A plugger doesn’t think about that decision very much any more. But sometimes he can’t help it.
Blondie, 3/4/18
Today’s Blondie, in which two icons of 20th century American pop-culture masculinity aggressively urge the protagonist to stuff himself with food until he can’t eat another bite, gives me a horrifying glimpse of who this strip is actually “for.”
Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/4/18
Justin’s regurgatory cycle is the most interesting thing to happen in Rex Morgan, M.D., in months, so I guess I’ll just settle in and enjoy it for as long as it keeps happening. Can’t wait to see all the variations! “That’s our Justin!” [audience laughter] [everyone is splattered with vomit]
Shoe, 3/1/18
I can imagine a couple possible genesises (geneses?) for this strip that are vaguely interesting as backstory. For example, this could be an instance of a huffy “look what these DEGENERATE LIBERALS are teaching OUR INNOCENT CHILDREN in GOVERNMENT SCHOOLS.” On the other hand, the fact that Shoe is full of bird-people might mean that the “polly”-“parrot” joke is meant to be understood in that context, and this is a shoutout to Shoe’s hardcore base of bird-o-sexual perverts who will be pleasuring themselves tonight to a vision of getting double-teamed by two brightly colored birds who can mimic human speech, including erotic talk.
Sadly, though, my actual assumption is that this strip has the exact same origin story as every other Shoe strip with the loose structure of “a teacher asks Skyler a question that he responds to ‘humorously’”: it’s an excuse to shoehorn in a joke or a bit of wordplay someone thought up, or maybe heard from somewhere else, and that’s it. Skyler’s expression of profound self-loathing in panel three is a chilling reminder of how everyone involved in the production of this strip feels about it, and themselves.
Mary Worth, 3/1/18
Mary Worth is of course a master of the fine points of etiquette, so I guess roast chicken is the official meal for letting your boyfriend know his friend tried to rape you!
Pluggers, 3/1/18
Pluggers’ bodies are breaking down so gradually that, when they do eventually die, it’s gonna take a while for anyone to notice.