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Blondie, 10/9/26

I really kind of enjoy Dagwood’s emotional rollercoaster here. The man on the TV says that “with 3D printing, anyone can become an action figure,” which I guess is a very muddled way of saying “with 3D printing you can make an action figure that looks like anyone,” but whatever, the point is that Dagwood immediately and 100% buys into it, because a guy on TV said it! They wouldn’t let him say it on TV if it weren’t true! But then Dithers tells him that actually, not everyone can become an action figure, and Dagwood can’t in particular, which he has no choice but to believe because his boss is telling him this, and his boss wouldn’t lie to him, would he? The very idea is unthinkable.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/9/26

We’ve gotten plenty of hints that Mud used to be kind of a terror because of problems with alcohol and/or drugs, but I’d like to believe that Mae Mae is hinting at the fact that this wasn’t the first time Mud pretended to shit himself onstage.

Shoe, 10/9/26

The thing about the comic strip Shoe is that it’s basically a multidecade project to see if newspapers around the country will print a picture of a bird-man who looks profoundly unwell every single day, and quite frankly I’m proud of the success it’s found!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/7/26

Back in the day, when he was first introduced into this comic strip, Mud Mountain Murphy used to be depicted as a giant of a man who loomed over everybody and spoke in boldface at all times. He seems to have chilled out/shrunk a bit since then, but as a tall guy I’m pretty sure that he may be talking a good game about the structural changes to the film industry, where multiplexes with access to bulk concession purchases are simply more labor-efficient and profitable than traditional single-screen theaters, but he’s probably thinking about the comfy recliners all the new movie theaters have as a matter of course.

Dennis the Menace, 10/7/26

Here’s a fun little game to play. It’s called “What’s Keeping Dennis Aloft?” Clearly his feet aren’t on the ground, but [audience shouts each word] WHAT’S! KEEPING! DENNIS! ALOFT! Is he standing on that chair, despite the fact that its shading matches the house and it seems like it’s supposed to be several feet behind him? Does he have superhuman wrist strength, so that the hand that seems so casually rested on Mr. Wilson’s stomach is actually bearing the child’s entire weight? Is he just kind of floating? Does Dennis have floating powers? It would be pretty menacing if he could just float in mid-air, right?

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Dennis the Menace, 10/5/26

Part of being a sophisticated textual critic such as myself is that you have to be able to distinguish between “something I dislike” and “something that is executed poorly.” So, for instance, you know that on principle I dislike the “Dennis insults his mother’s cooking” Dennis the Menace panels. But if you’re going to do it, having Dennis stare ahead, dead-eyed and drooling, and saying “This tastes like shit, mom, it tastes like food that’s just been lying around until it goes bad” is a pretty good execution.

Dick Tracy, 10/5/26

Big news, everyone! A new Dick Tracy storyline is starting today, and the very first strip is a guy falling down the stairs and dying! Or at least I assume? He actually looks pretty much the same in the air as he does on the ground, so maybe he’s fine and just shaped like that.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/5/26

For too long, the Baby Boomers and retro-hipster Gen Xers of Glenwood have only been able to express their toxic nostalgia through dedication to roots country music. But soon they’ll also be able to enjoy older films that have been largely forgotten by the mainstream cineaste community for presumably good reason, thanks to Mae Mae’s carefully invested movie earnings and/or Glenwood’s rock-bottom real estate prices!

Crankshaft, 10/5/26

“As a matter of fact, some prescription medications, especially generics, are manufactured in China. It’s somewhat more common, however, for the chemical raw materials to be produced in China while the drug formulation happens in India. Just another facet of our globalized era, where different countries with different prevailing labor costs and specific know-how end up specializing in different segments of the supply chain. I know that’s not a ‘punchline’ per se but I thought you might find it interesting!”