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Family Circus, 7/5/21

Happy 4th of July (Observed), everybody! On this sacred holiday, I have some news for you: The Keane Kids are America. Jeffy, in particular, is America. Doing something the stupidest possible way, and initially everyone is horrified and embarrassed by you, but then you end up winning, even though you’ve broken all the rules and you don’t “technically” win and everyone things you’re an idiot, but you’ve still won in every way that matters? That’s America, to me, and I think it’s beautiful.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/5/12

OK, this is a twist that I did not see coming and I kind of love it? For Sarah, engaging in creative work wasn’t meant to be part of a path to fame and fortune! She merely hoped to egg others into creating their own work in a shared universe, producing a virtuous cycle in which we all have more content to enjoy! Thanks to the weird stasis of comic-book time, Sarah, who has been a child for literally decades, probably has a vague memory of the glory days of fanfic group blogs on LiveJournal or whatever, but now lives in a sterile world of hypermonetization that her old soul rejects.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/30/21

“Yes, full of surprises. Like remember when we made her start taking the bus to school so she’d get hit by a car and the resulting head injury would cleanse her brain of all memories and creative ambitions? Well, it looks like that didn’t work, so you’d better go find the trepanation drill.”

Mary Worth, 6/30/21

But … what about Drew’s coffees? I don’t have eyes on them but surely all this slapping can’t be good for keeping them upright! Ladies, please, be careful! Drew needs his morning java!

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Mary Worth, 6/24/21

Look, folks, some of you are getting a little riled up and need to have your expectations set properly, OK? First of all, there’s never going to be a Drew-Shauna-Ashlee threeway. It’s not going to happen. It’s Mary Worth! There isn’t even going to be a Drew-Shauna-Ashlee threeway in this psychedelic Drew dream sequence. I mean look at everyone’s facial expression in panel one. Does it look like sex is going to be had? It does not! If we’re lucky, though, this dream sequence is going to get hilariously metaphorical very quickly. Remember the boxing Wilburbabies? Of course you do. That’s the energy we deserve out of Drew’s dream. Is he going to be pulled in two, literally, as a metaphor? Let’s hope! Let’s hope it gets weird as hell!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/21

Welp, it looks like it’s the beginning of Sarah Morgan Is A Genius II: The Geniusing. And despite the fact that we could’ve had a juicy plagiarism storyline, everything’s going to be on the up and up, thanks to Buck acting as an intermediary. Remember before, when Sarah got acclaim and material rewards thanks to her patroness, an actual mob boss? Well, this time around it’ll be thanks to Buck, and scientists have yet to come up with a number that can capture how much of a downgrade that is.

Judge Parker, 6/24/21

If you want a vision of the future of Judge Parker, imagine a pissy human face yelling at its wife — forever.