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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/28/21

Rex Morgan’s Kelly, the teen daughter of the Morgans’ receptionist, has been a particularly acute victim of comic-book time in the strip: she’s gone from a midriff-baring, mom-sassing punk-dating rebel to a chunky-sweater-wearing good girl without having gotten appreciably older in the process. Admittedly, getting blackmailed by a toddler who spotted you fooling around with your boyfriend is the sort of thing that might put you on the straight and narrow! Still, it’s sad that Kelly’s total transformation isn’t good enough for her mom, who apparently will be sending her to a nunnery in short order.

Shoe, 1/28/21

I know that one of Shoe’s go-to bits is Shoe or the Perfesser, who eat at Roz’s literally every day, telling some unsuspecting stranger that the food there sucks, actually. Still, I feel like the items on the menu whose names already include a joke about how they’re hazardous to your health should be exempt from this. You’re overloading the concept! Is it dangerously rich and delicious, or prepared in a dangerously slapdash manner that violates various health and safety codes? The hapless bird-man who has unwittingly wandered into the crossfire of the long-running passive-aggressive Shoe-Roz conflict looks baffled, and rightly so.

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Mary Worth, 1/27/21

I guess I never explained it here, but Eve confided in Saul that her crying episode at the mall was one of the anxiety attacks she sometimes experiences. She didn’t offer any further explanation, nor was she obligated to! But I guess the strip is determined to give her something specific to cry about. Suits? They’re no reason at all to experience anxiety. Now, getting unexpectedly pulled to the ground by your rambunctious dog, maybe breaking your hip in the process and suffering through a long rehabilitation process? That’s something to keep you up at night!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/27/21

It sure seemed like the sad tale of Buck Develops The Diabeetus was going to end without much drama, as Buck submitted to his fate without much fuss. However, it looks like he might just have some fight left in him, because he’s contemplating going out in a blaze of glory, buying the biggest, thickest milkshake cutting-edge cup and straw technology can handle and then guzzling it until his pancreas explodes.

Dick Tracy, 1/27/21

“So it turns out our suspects haven’t done any crimes! But I’ve got a bunch of reasons why we should hassle them anyway.”

Marvin, 1/27/21

“So what if we could keep him asleep … forever! Ha ha, just kidding. But what if…?”

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Hi and Lois, 1/19/21

Do you think the Flagston kids are being sarcastic here? I mean, kids generally have, um, let’s say “unrefined” palettes, so I imagine they’re actually quite jazzed about getting spaghetti and hot dogs on nights when Lois is showing her clients McMansions after dark because you “really get a sense of how quiet these gated communities are at this hour” or whatever. This, to me, makes Hi’s sour, gloomy facial expression in the final panel even funnier. He hates that his kids are excited about the extremely basic things that strain his limited cooking skills, and holds both them and himself in simultaneous contempt.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/19/21

Welp, it seems Buck’s meek, mild-mannered, easily winded persona has been an act, a front to hold back the monster within, the monster who dreams of nothing but carnage. But now that he’s going to have draw blood from his finger every day … well, Buck can’t speak to what’s going to happen next. But it won’t be pretty.

Beetle Bailey, 1/19/21

Oh, Sarge. Foolish Sarge. Did you think that you could pound a man into a puddle of goo and then reshape him into a human form three times a week and not create something … more pliable, but also something essentially inhuman? Something no longer tied to a stable physical form, or to our sense of morality? Be afraid, be very afraid of what you have wrought.