Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/7/20

Well, we finally got through the boring parts of this storyline — like the part where Rex did the same dumb normal doctor stuff he does now, but in the past, or the part where he fell over, or the part where he got a free medical practice — but now, at last, we’re getting to the emotional meat of the story, where Rex and June get to know one another and explore their feelings and — oh, what’s that? We’re not getting that at all? Rex hired June, and then proposed three months later, with nothing of interest happening in between those two events? Huh. And then she said yes? Huh. Anyhoo, I guess we’re wrapping this up and moving onto our next storyline, which is probably about … Buck’s favorite rockabilly performer! Bet he’s down on his luck!

Dennis the Menace, 8/7/20

Is a hot dog a sandwich? Is cereal a soup? Is a pop-tart a calzone? Sounds like Dennis has been getting involved in pointless social media/messageboard discussions from two or three years ago, which honestly is at least medium menacing.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/3/20

“Well, also, I’ve been told that we need to form a human pair-bond in order to make the clinic function at peak efficiency, and you’re the only woman I’ve ever ‘flirted’ with. But I didn’t bring that up because I’m told that I need to hire you before I attempt to mate with you, rather than making the mating a requirement for the job, correct? That way I won’t be violating labor law? Apologies, this is all very new to me.”

Dustin, 8/3/20

Wow, Dustin doesn’t seem like such a loser now, does he, Dustin-dad? Sure, you’re always on him to get a job, but that’s a great way for him to catch a disease or die in a war (assuming the job is the war kind). I guess you’ll think twice about making fun of hi — haha, obviously not, this brief moment of affection will definitely pass.

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Pluggers, 7/29/20

You know, sometimes I feel like you guys don’t appreciate what I go through to bring you the densely referenced metatextual content you’ve come to expect here on josh reads dot com, so I thought I’d pull back the curtain on the “process” behind this post I’m writing right now, which involved searching my archives for posts that featured Pluggers and contained the word “dying.” Was it harrowing? You bet. But it was worth it because I confirmed my hunch: as a rule a plugger only owns one suit, and his primary reason for wearing it is to go to a funeral. You can understand why he might eventually buy some more, though, what with the constant parade of death and their bodies waxing and waning with the vagaries of their medication regimen. That’s what I love about these pluggers, man: I get bigger, and they stay the same age (i.e., dead).

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/29/20

GET IT, REX? ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE? THE MEDICAL PRACTICE COMES AT A PRICE, AND IT’S A LOT MORE THAN A DOLLAR