Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 1/23/19

Did … did General Halftrack die? RIP General Halftrack, you will always be in our memories.

Crankshaft, 1/23/19

Is … is Ralph about to die? RIP Crankshaft’s friend Ralph, you will always be in our memories, and we will cringe sympathetically when Crankshaft makes an extremely off-putting malapropism at your funeral.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/23/19

“Black Friday” is what the Montoni’s staff calls it when the depressive episodes afflicting the inhabitants of Westview sync up and everyone just stays in bed all day and orders pizza.

Mary Worth, 1/23/19

Oh my GOD, the winking is working. Resist, professor! Don’t let your insatiable hunger for extremely mild flirtation ruin your marriage, or your career!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/23/19

Wow, I guess we’re about to learn that kids from broken homes — even kids saddled with the name “Brayden” — can be just as prissy and judgemental of human frailty as Rex Morgan himself! I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson about stereotypes here.

Six Chix, 1/23/19

Gotta hand it to Six Chix: I spent so much time trying to figure out whether or not “to Monday to Sunday” was a typo — like, was there originally supposed to be only one day named but they changed it and accidentally didn’t delete the original day? or is it somehow part of the joke, like they’re having their Sunday girls’ night out on Monday, or vice versa? — that I never ever got to the part where I had to try to figure out what the fuck this has to do with her son moving back home. You win this round, Six Chix!

Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/20/19

I like that Rex’s reaction to some uncouth ruffian making a scene is to stare approvingly out at the bleak, barren land below. “Look at it, Brayden,” he says. “No people with their messy emotional or biological needs. Just vast, endless silence. If this plane were to drop out of the sky and smear itself across that austere landscape right now, it would honestly be a blessing.”

Family Circus, 1/20/19

Pretty sure this is actually a demonstration of two very different kinds of child’s mind: Dolly’s, which has just begun to understand what a metaphor is, and Jeffy’s, which very much does not and possibly never will.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 1/13/19

Toby and Ian … a study in contrasts. Toby is paralyzed with fear that her husband might be succumbing to the charms of a younger woman, and is so insecure she’s afraid to even bring the subject up because she thinks it’ll make her look weak. Ian, meanwhile, is all like, “Damn, this is some good fish! Toby sure fried the hell out of this fish. She seems lost in thought tonight, so I guess I can just go ahead and eat it with my hands.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/13/19

OK, fine, Brayden isn’t turning out to be a little brat at all, but rather a weird tiny adult like pre-amnesia Sarah, though I will treasure the sentence “I’m sure it’ll be smooth sailing from here on, Brayden.” But anyway, now it’s clear that Rex and Brayden are gonna be on a team together against Loud-Shirted Drunken Lout! This flight’s just getting started and I’ll bet there’s plenty of drunken loutery in store!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 1/13/19

OK, fine, they’re in Germany. But why is it so important to know what country they’re in? Well, look at the pigs in the pen, the birds, the snake, the rabbits — unclothed, non bipedal, with dull, lifeless eyes. Here is one place, even after the animapocalypse, where animals are still animals. And are people still people? Sly and Max are right to be afraid.