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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/12/19

I’m really enjoying Rex’s grim facial expression as he slides safely to earth here. Brayden may have a weirdly adult affect, but at least he’s letting out a rowdy “whoa!!!” Rex, meanwhile, is thinking back to his time in grade school, when he was surrounded by other children who didn’t treat slide-time with the extreme seriousness it deserved. Now he’s going to show them how it’s done, by God.

Gil Thorp, 2/12/19

Oh, whoops, it seems that it’s just the prospect of therapy that has supercharged Mike Filion’s basketball skills. But now that he’s doing great on the court, maybe he doesn’t need therapy at all! You know what they say: winners don’t use drugs, but winning is a more powerful drug than anything the scientists at GlaxoSmithKline could come up with!

Family Circus, 2/12/19

Not sure who this ginger is or how he managed to wander into the Keane Kompound, but Ma Keane is clearly taking no chances of any unauthorized interactions transpiring between him and her brood. Is he here to steal valuable Keane darndest-thing-saying intellectual property???

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The Phantom, 2/7/19

So I was roundly and correctly roasted last week for not being up on the Phantom lore and realizing that it’s Heloise who has a Great-Uncle Dave (a terrorism expert, natch), not Kadia. I may not know much about ancillary Phantom characters, but I do know about international diplomacy, enough to realize that giving teenagers cabinet positions and admiralships in order to spirit them out of the country and avoid talking to the police is pretty dodgy, and I also know enough about storytelling to know that it’s kind of weird to spend this much post-climax strip time talking about the mechanics of how President Luaga is spiriting Heloise and Kadia out of the country. Really, it’s only interesting to nerds who are curious about the details of Bangalla’s governance and external relations — and I cannot emphasize enough that I am very much one of those nerds. Why do you think President Luaga is doing this himself? Are these sorts of appointments exclusively made by the president in person, according to the Bangallan constitution? Or is Luaga just here on a lark because he’s kind of bored with the day to day of Bangallan governance, which, for the record, I as a nerd am also eager to learn more about?

Mary Worth, 2/7/19

I’m pretty sure that Mary Worth is the person that Toby spends the most time with, which is profoundly sad, for both of them really, but it’s clear here that at least it means she’s building up an immunity to Mary’s platitudes and has gotten to the point where she can now just ignore them altogether. “Don’t worry about how you appear. Just talk to him.” “When I do, the most important thing will be how I appear!” I’m not sure how long Mary will accept this state of affairs before she takes her meddling to the next level (hypnosis, binding court orders, etc.).

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/7/19

You ever see one of those sentences that has been run through some kind of automatic translator and while grammatically correct makes no sense? In unrelated news, here’s today’s Rex Morgan, M.D.!

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Beetle Bailey, 1/23/19

Did … did General Halftrack die? RIP General Halftrack, you will always be in our memories.

Crankshaft, 1/23/19

Is … is Ralph about to die? RIP Crankshaft’s friend Ralph, you will always be in our memories, and we will cringe sympathetically when Crankshaft makes an extremely off-putting malapropism at your funeral.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/23/19

“Black Friday” is what the Montoni’s staff calls it when the depressive episodes afflicting the inhabitants of Westview sync up and everyone just stays in bed all day and orders pizza.

Mary Worth, 1/23/19

Oh my GOD, the winking is working. Resist, professor! Don’t let your insatiable hunger for extremely mild flirtation ruin your marriage, or your career!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/23/19

Wow, I guess we’re about to learn that kids from broken homes — even kids saddled with the name “Brayden” — can be just as prissy and judgemental of human frailty as Rex Morgan himself! I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson about stereotypes here.

Six Chix, 1/23/19

Gotta hand it to Six Chix: I spent so much time trying to figure out whether or not “to Monday to Sunday” was a typo — like, was there originally supposed to be only one day named but they changed it and accidentally didn’t delete the original day? or is it somehow part of the joke, like they’re having their Sunday girls’ night out on Monday, or vice versa? — that I never ever got to the part where I had to try to figure out what the fuck this has to do with her son moving back home. You win this round, Six Chix!