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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/5/16

The “uh” in Rex’s word balloon in panel two is an exquisitely placed detail. It’s the moment Rex acknowledges that he’s losing control of this conversation. He’s ostensibly interested in buying this lady’s possible deathtrap of a house, so it makes a certain sense that she’d try to figure out his finances. Asking about his kids, though? This is a personal conversation now, and Rex barely wants to have personal conversations with his wife. “Can I just drop this plate and run?” he thinks. “Just head straight out the door, leaving shattered china and lemon cake strewn everywhere behind me, and never look back?”

Family Circus, 3/5/16

I absolutely love Jeffy’s look of heavy-lidded contempt here. “Girl,” he’s thinking, “you and I both know these are mashed potatoes. Don’t get all up in my face just because I had the idea to malaprop over dinner tonight before you did. I’m the one grandmas across America are going to be hanging on their refrigerators this week, OK? Me.”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/29/16

FYI, guys, Rex Morgan, M.D., isn’t just about people giving Rex and his family money. It’s also sometimes about wacky old people! Like remember when a pair of demented seniors wandered away from a nursing home and made a small-time drug dealer’s life miserable? Or when an elderly brother-sister pair won the lottery, with hilarious results? Anyway, it looks like Rex has finally been bullied into buying that house in town, and sure, it’s in the leafy, huge-mansion part of town, but it’s also in the cranky, argumentative old people part of town! The next few days should give us plenty of the great Grimacing Rex Reaction Shots I crave.

Mary Worth, 2/29/16

[Mary Worth at the airport newsstand]: “People? Oh, my, dear, between you and me, it’s very difficult to keep up with multiple celebrities these days. Who has the time, really? No, one copy of Person, please.”

Hi and Lois, 2/29/16

I mean, you don’t want to do it so often that it becomes Funky Winkerbean-esque self parody, but if you want to end your gag-a-day strip once in a while with a son snidely reminding his father about the grim banality of his adult life, and the father just stares sullenly into space with his arms crossed across his chest, I’m not going to complain.

Marvin, 2/29/16

“I pee on it! I pee all over my phone! My phone is covered in urine. I’m a baby, but I’m depicted as having adult-level cognitive abilities, and, for some reason, I own a mobile phone, but I still pee and poop in my pants!”

Shoe, 2/29/16

“Ha ha, get it? Because of the ice cream flavor? Anyway, the actual story is that I was very drunk.”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/25/16

“Hmm, you’re saying I could take advantage of the property I already own to acquire more property, along with a revenue stream that will go up over the years while my own costs remain fixed? It’s almost as if the system is set up so that it’s easy for the rich to get … even richer!”

Beetle Bailey, 2/25/16

There are two things that this joke could be about, both of them involve General Halftrack’s dick, and I would like to state for the record that I don’t appreciate either of them.

Gasoline Alley, 2/25/16

THAT’S RIGHT, BEAR

HE’S THE *!!!§★

MAUL HIM

MAUL HIM GOOD