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Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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The Lockhorns have 100 words for hate

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Panel from The Lockhorns, 1/10/16

I love the way Leroy is delicately leaning up against the bookcase, but why do you suppose he’s idly thumbing through the thesaurus? Is this meant to indicate that he’s been waiting so long that he’s resorted to reading reference books for entertainment? Or maybe we’re meant to realize that his marital hell has so scarred him that he no longer has the vocabulary to describe it, and he’s desperate for new words that will truly convey the depths of his emotional torment.

Marvin, 1/10/16

Sure, I have a whole blog about comic strips, and sure, I complain about Marvin and his poop jokes about once a week on average, but there are still limits to how much space I allow the comics to occupy in my skull. For instance, I can’t remember whether Marvin’s grandparents who had to move into chez Marvin when they lost all their retirement savings are supposed to be Jeff’s parents or Jenny’s. And I refuse to look it up! You can’t make me! Even though knowing the answer would probably better help me get the family dynamics that establish the nuances of this strip, in which Grandpa opens his heart with Jeff and is cruelly mocked in return!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/10/16

Haha, of course Welton Green is part of Dolly Pierpoint’s sprawling mafia empire! Of course this guy knows all about Sarah and is probably under strict orders to let admit her! “The test is happening right now! Are you ready? Here it comes!” [winks exaggeratedly and hands Sarah a check]

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Marketing advice: Do not even suggest that your beer has hair in it

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Crankshaft, 1/8/16

The newspaper comic strip is an art form with a dilemma: each strip must, to a certain extent, stand on its own; but unless it’s a pure gag-a-day strip like the Far Side, it must also make use of a library of tropes, running gags, plots, and character elements to round out its world and live up to its full potential. But in doing so it risks confusing or alienating new readers. For instance, we all know that today’s strip is just the typical Crankshaft Has Built A Fire That Has Gotten Out Of Control gag that this strip loves, layered over with the usual inexplicable Funkyverse melancholy, but can you imagine if this were the first Crankshaft you ever read? “Oh my God!” you’d think. “That poor family! Their house is burning down! Maybe a loved one is trapped inside! Look at their stricken faces — they have nowhere else to go, and it’s so cold out!” Tomorrow’s inevitable cranky old man joke would leave you very confused indeed.

Beetle Bailey, 1/8/16

You know, even when laws change, it takes a long time for people’s attitudes about themselves to follow suit. In other words, even though Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed more than four years ago, Sgt. Snorkel is going to have to drink a lot of beer before he can really enjoy himself at this leather bar.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/8/16

No need to look so alarmed, Morgans! Welton Green may not be comfortable with sociopathic students, but it has no policy banning narcissists.

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She’s always been the caretaker

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/4/16

It’s honestly going to be pretty hilarious when Sarah brings her terrible personality to school and discovers that normals won’t like it, or her. I’m sure she’ll eventually use her mob ties and/or powers of psychokinesis to cow the many enemies she’ll make, but until then let’s just enjoy this pointless game of topper she’s playing with the headmaster’s assistant with the admittedly dumb nickname. “Being a nurse is much harder and more important than being a teacher. I’m skipping a grade so I can spend time with as few teachers as possible! Plus my mom had a baby. Did your mom have a baby? Probably not!”

Dennis the Menace, 1/4/16

The children are right to laugh, Hot Dog. Breakdancing is a trend that was played out decades ago.

Marvin, 1/4/16

At last, Marvin’s parents have figured out what he’s good for: as an instrument of revenge against a world that has repeatedly wronged them.