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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/6/24

Personally, if I had fled in the middle of the night from the people I had defrauded in order to avoid a lawsuit, and also was presumably on probation for attempted murder chargers, I would not hang around in a room full of the people I had wronged just to confirm that Rex Morgan was the ultimate architect of my current setback, no matter how good my fake beard skills were. In fact, I would simply leave Glenwood altogether if it seemed that all of my evil schemes were being foiled by Glenwood’s most prominent doctor! That’s just me, though. I’m not telling Rene how to do his job. But, honestly, he seems pretty bad it, so maybe he could use the advice.

The Lockhorns, 1/6/24

“I know this, of course, because of our varied, intense, and enthusiastically consensual BDSM-centered sex life. ‘Wallet area’ is what I call his ass when I’m mixing things up with a little financial humiliation play.”

Daddy Daze, 1/6/24

We all know about the Daddy Daze daddy, who speaks in normal human language, and about the Daddy Daze baby, who speaks in a series of “ba”s that the Daddy Daze daddy purports to understand and translates for the benefit of us, the readers. Well, today we learn about the Daddy Daze grandaddy, who speaks in series of asterisks that the Daddy Daze daddy purports to understand and translates for the benefit of us, the readers. Pretty crazy, huh? That’s 2024, baby. Who knows what surprises await!

Family Circus, 1/6/24

RED ALERT RED ALERT DOLLY HAS BECOME AWARE OF FEMINISM, REPEAT, DOLLY HAS BECOME AWARE OF FEMINISM

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Dick Tracy, 1/4/24

So the goth pasta pun lady is also a stage magician, and this guy on stage with her yelling “Oh, yeah!” is an audience volunteer, and I think we were at least briefly meant to understand that she was about to actually cut him in half with a chainsaw? For goth/crime purposes? I’m still not entirely convinced that she hasn’t cut him in half, actually, and the gimmick is that he’s just really into it as a form of extreme chiropractic or something.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/4/24

“Why should I have to endure the gazes of these chumps and rubes if there isn’t a big fat check for me at the end of it? Remember when I used to get big fat checks or free boats or whatever for just doing nothing? This time I actually did something! I actually engaged in a conversation with one of my patients even though the insurance companies tell me that’s a waste of time and they won’t compensate me for it! Where’s my money, Buck?”

Dennis the Menace, 1/4/24

Henry, Alice … you don’t invite the third over until the kid goes to bed. This is basic stuff!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/3/24

Sure, we’re being told that this crowd is CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!ing in big red letters, but by their faces, they don’t look that enraptured, do they? This makes sense because honestly, the audience for a self-help group/cult tour making its second pass through a smallish city would logically be mostly made up of (a) people who had already bought into the cult idea and are now unsettled to learn that the cult has a new leader and (b) people who only came in the hopes that Mud would play “Muddy Boots” and, like, who cares if this cult has just undergone a leadership reshuffle, really? Is that going to make them play “Muddy Boots” any sooner? Because frankly they’re just talking a lot about who really founded the cult and that can only push “Muddy Boots” time further back.

Family Circus, 1/3/24

I genuinely love how haunted both Jeffy and Grandma look here. Grandma obviously is really wounded that the kids just walked out in the middle of some story that was obviously quite meaningful to her, possibly about her beloved husband, the grandfather they never knew. Jeffy, meanwhile, is thinking “World exist before Jeffy? This mean teddy bear still exist when under blanket and Jeffy can’t see???”

Blondie, 1/3/24

I also genuinely love the Red Bull empties on Dagwood’s desk. He tried! He really tried! But if he can stay rail-thin despite his shockingly inhuman food consumption habits, you’d better believe that a few thousand milligrams of caffeine and taurine aren’t going to be enough to keep his synapses firing.

Shoe, 1/3/24

I will admit that this is a perfectly serviceable bit of wordplay, but I do want to point out that they give this lefty-loving bird lady a headband, because only a dirty hippie would ever date a socialist! Just to drive the point home, Roz is using the red flag of world revolution to wipe the crumbs off her counter.