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Rex Morgan, M.D, 9/8/23

The thing about Rene is that he’s just physically incapable of not doing crimes. Like, did he develop a self-improvement philosophy that got roots country’s most notorious bad boy to reform his jerkish ways and create an innovative new revenue stream while still pleasing his fanbase? Yes! But he’s so focused on scams he can’t even take a moment to appreciate — and maybe expand upon — that achievement. Similarly, Rene could’ve just stopped by Buzzy’s office and collected the royalties to which he’s legally entitled — or maybe even settled the whole thing via email — but that isn’t as much fun as violently kidnapping the poor guy and leaving him with a lifelong case of PTSD, now is it? Yes, Rene’s always innovating, whether we’re talking about scams, or more violent crimes like attempted murder, or new bizarre hand gestures like the one in panel two here, where I think he’s trying to point and gesture backwards with his thumb simultaneously and lands on something like “hang loose,” but worse.

Beetle Bailey, 9/8/23

Hmm, you’re saying that in institutions built on a requirement that subordinates obey superiors no matter what, those superiors inevitably use their absolute power for their own personal benefit? Interesting theory, much to think about.

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Mary Worth, 9/4/23

Folks! Mary Worth is taking a moment off from her tale of old people engaging in state-sanction monogamy in order to acknowledge that Hot Labor Summer is here and she is all in favor of it. Whether you’re a Hollywood celeb member of SAG-AFTRA or a hotel maid organized by Unite Here, Mary is happy to come to your picket line with delicious muffins, bottled water, and personal-sized bottles of sunscreen.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/4/23

Snuffy Smith, on the other hand? Snuffy absolutely supplements his chicken-stealing and moonshining revenue by occasionally signing up with the Pinkertons to help crack some skulls if the miners in the next holler over get a little too big for their britches.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/4/23

Rex Morgan, meanwhile, is focusing on the complex modern-day economy that complicates the traditional division between labor and capital and leaves various independent contractors and entrepreneurs entangled in their attempts to extract ongoing revenues from intellectual property. I’m kind of sad that we never got to see the conversation between Mud and Buzzy Cameron where Buzzy explains that they need to set up a trust account for Rene’s rightful share of his music revenues, in case the court decides to award it to his many victims or whatever.

Shoe, 9/4/23

What’s the age cutoff for a heterosexual woman who unselfconsciously refers to a platonic female friend as a “girlfriend”? 40? 50? Anyway, it’s too bad nobody younger than whatever age that is reads newspaper comics, because they might be briefly intrigued, though ultimately disappointed, by the idea that Shoe is about a pansexual bird polycule.

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Hi and Lois, 9/2/23

If you want a glimpse of how in mid-century America, syndicated newspaper cartooning used to be your ticket to a comfortable life, consider the central position the great suburban participatory leisure sports of golf and tennis hold in our legacy strips! It’s a different time now, but these strips can still teach us a lot about the folkways of suburban Connecticut and similar communities, and if I’m reading today’s Hi and Lois right, those places are on the verge of civil war. Hi thinks he can just ride this one out on the golf course, but there will come a time, and soon, where he’ll have to take a side.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/2/23

Oh ho, it looks like Rene, aka “Professor Mirakle,” is back to tie up some loose ends, possibly by murdering his erstwhile disciple Mud! Ha ha, everyone will be real sorry they didn’t accept his apologies, once they find his bullet-ridden corpse in this hotel room three days from now! Honestly, though, it seems much more likely that Rene is just trying to get a cut of the money from Mud’s apparently quite lucrative Li’l Fergus character and the songs he co-wrote and/or inspired through fake guru powers. It would be funny to see an attempted murderer make use of the legal system to enforce his intellectual property claims, but honestly, it’s not like he hasn’t done it before.

Between Friends, 9/2/23

Sorry to this lady who is being abandoned by all her friends and family, but I will never get over the phrase “We live in a global world.” Do we? Is it a global world we live in? Is it really? Is that why you can use a globe to depict the world with such uncanny accuracy?